Various Stuff n' Such

 

So here I was, all set to write a cranky post about how much I disliked a certain high-profile comic book movie that opened this weekend. But honestly, folks, life’s too short, and I’d rather spend the time gabbing about stuff I enjoy. So with that in mind, here are a few random tidbits of comic booky goodness from last week’s offerings:

 

Other Lives, by Peter Bagge: The Hate-meister returns to cranky form with this original Vertigo graphic novel about four interconnected losers—a writer who despises his racial identity and is haunted by a past act of plagiarism, his fiancée, whose vicarious internet life begins to blur into her real relationships, an online gambling addict desperate to cover up his crumbling domestic life, and a would-be government agent/national hero who lives in his mother’s garage. Fans of Bagge ‘s most famous creation, Buddy Bradley, can draw a straight line to Vlad (Vader) Ryderbeck, the self-loathing, slow-burning, expletive-spewing, booze-swigging antihero at the heart of Other Lives, who discovers that the self-created false identities people hide behind—both online and in real life--are not just a product of the internet era, but in his case at least, a generational affair. Bagge’s rubbery, cross-hatched caricatures may not be for everybody, but there’s truly nothing else in comics like them, and they are perfectly suited to the grotesque lives, both real and imagined, that they depict. The surprisingly violent conclusion is strangely unsatisfying, but the repeated jabs at the characters’ cartoonishly sad-sack lifestyles and the equally ridiculous internet fantasies they retreat into are what stays with you after you’ve finished reading.

 

The Flash #1, by Geoff Johns and Francis Manapul: DC has taken a lot of flack for bringing back Silver Age mainstay Barry Allen—fair enough, considering that most of their current readership grew up reading the adventures of his protégé, Wally West—but here’s the thing; having Allen as the Flash in a new number one issue makes sense because he’s the easiest version of the character to explain to new readers. Hit by lightning, showered by chemicals, Fastest Man Alive. There you go. Sure, he’s got tons of baggage if you start factoring in his death and rebirth, his stint as a married father in the distant future, and all that other crap, but this first issue wisely sidesteps all that, focusing instead on what I hope will set this series apart from the previous run (see what I did there?): the fact that Barry Allen is a police scientist, so he is actually going to be solving mysteries instead of just running around fighting bad guys. Manapul’s art is just as lovely here as it was in his short-lived stint on Adventure Comics, and I hope he’s in it for the long haul. This is a fun, accessible, great-looking debut, with one of those cool two-page teaser ads at the end (like the ones Johns did for Legion of Three Worlds and Sinestro Corps) for an upcoming event called Flashpoint. I have no idea what it could be about, but it looks cool. Let’s hope DC doesn’t water it down with a kajillion crossovers, but who am I kidding? Of course they will.

 

Kill Shakespeare #1, by Conor McCreery, Anthony Del Col, and Andy Belanger: I know Johnathan already covered this IDW book and its fascinating shared universe, where the Bard’s most famous creations join forces to destroy him, a few days ago, but I wanted to throw in my two cents as well. This is a very cool, original concept, executed with terrific skill and style. There are a lot of comparisons to be made to League of Extraordinary Gentlemen being thrown around in regards to this series, and that’s a pretty big compliment in my book. The premise may be a bit intimidating to anyone not well versed in Shakespeare, but it’s a lot more accessible than you might think at first. For instance, I haven’t read Richard III, but I recognized the hunchbacked, shriveled-armed monarch as soon as he appeared. You could just look at Kill Shakespeare as a simple adventure story framed by a larger literary backdrop if you like, one with witches and pirates and ghosts, and you’d enjoy it just as much. Belanger’s art is detailed and stylish as well, just as impressive in moments of quiet dread (like Hamlet’s father’s ghost appearing from the mists) as it is in action scenes (such as the first issue’s big set piece, a pirate attack on the boat carrying Hamlet to England). And the creators are Canadian! Really, you have no excuse to miss this. 

Move over, "Jimmy Olsen's Blues"

I noticed long, long ago that the lyrics that musicians in super-hero comics sing are rarely... less than awful. Now, I could simply be biased due to having read too many issues of Teen Titans featuring Bob Haney-style mod-rock ("Yeah yeah yeah! Rock rock rock!"), but I'm still almost physically shocked when I encounter a funny-book singer actually singing something that humans might pay to listen to. Imagine my shock, then, when I read Action Comics No. 6 and found what might just be my favourite song about Superman, ever. And before you ask: yes, this includes "Sunshine Superman", "Superman's Song" and even that one where 3 Doors Down asks about whether I will still call him Superman if he goes crazy.

As a bonus, here's a Golden Age Clark Kent shutdown. That guy just can't get a break!

 

 

 

 

 If this has not yet been recorded by a brassy chanteuse then the world is not as magical as I'd hoped.

Second bonus: adorable music fan Lois Lane.

John, That Loveable Scamp, Buys Comics

Daytripper No. 5 (of 10)

It's kind of hard to give a recap of this comic, given the way that it's being told, but here's an approximation: Daytripper is kind of the story of the life of a man named Brás. Kind of because the story is being told out of sequence, and also because (and here's where you want to stop reading if you're planning on approaching the trade completely without knowledge) he dies at the end of each issue. There's a lot more that I could lay out for you - about his job and family and the circumstances of his birth and so on - but I think that the thing that I really want to convey is that each issue is a perfect tale of the last day of this particular man's life, with Moon and Bá providing their signature astonishing art (and my fave Dave Stewart on colours). With a bit of rewriting this could be a series about a collection of unrelated men and it would be a delight, but at the halfway mark I can tell that something excellent is going to come of all of this.

There is no question that I am missing things here. I don't even know how to locate my copies of the first four issues, so there's no question of me going back and rereading for comparison, but I have a hunch that there are slight changes occurring in Brás' life story, that it's not merely being cut off at different points along the way but that we are seeing different iterations of him, like his life has been split with a prism. As a result of this, as fantastic as this book is in monthly doses, I reckon that it's going to be incredibly rewarding to read in trade. It's definitely going to enter into my stable of books to be lent to people who get a bit sniffy about super-heroes.

Brightest Day No. 0

I have determined that my biggest mistake with Blackest Night was that I was thinking about it too much.  I guess it was kind of natural that I would ponder it from time to time, since it went on for, like, ever. I just shouldn't have tried to analyze a continuity-heavy event comic, as there is no way to come out ahead in that game. I just have to go with the flow.

And hey, I like this event better than the last one already! It looks like at least half of the characters involved are going to have interesting story arcs and Boston Brand makes a decent narrator, even as Aliveman. And this is, after all, the final act of the whole years-long Lantern story - this is the part of the thing where Geoff Johns historically shines, especially for me. I can't tell you how many times he has won me over with a good ending after making me hate a story's middle.

So I hereby resolve not to overexamine or nitpick this thing until I go crazy with nerdrage. Mr Read and Appreciate For What it is, that's me.

I will however be keeping track of the number of times that characters in [Brightest Day] say "Brightest day." So far: 2.

Doc Savage No. 1

I heard a review of First Wave No. 1 when it came out - I do believe that it was on the Awesomed by Comics podcast - that had as its main negative point the fact that upon reading the comic you had absolutely no clue who anybody involved was. And of course I was ready to scoff, because how could anyone not know Doc Savage or Renny or Monk Mayfair? But then I remembered that Doc Savage hadn't been in anything more prominent than a miniseries or D-movie for longer than my parents have been alive and that I am in fact a giant nerd, especially about this kind of thing.

So it's a good thing that Paul Malmont does such a terrific job of writing backstory and character details into the plot of this comic without breaking the flow - stuff like introducing characters as they practice their specialties or having Doc make smalltalk with two children to keep them calm while rescuing them from a burning building. It's a nice bit of writing, hampered only a little by the somewhat inconsistent art and gigantic manga eyes that everyone has. They... they make me uncomfortable.

As for the backup, well, I know a lot less about the Avenger than Doc, so I'll hold off on shooting my mouth off for a couple of issues. Dude sure does look mean though.

Kill Shakespeare No. 1

Ha ha, I'm a fool. I could have gotten a review copy of this, like two weeks ago and I didn't get around to doing anything long enough for it to slip my mind entirely. Of course, usually when I do that it's a terrible WWE comic or something and I don't care. This time, I straight-up suck.

Fool or no, I recognize a fun comic when I see (and pay cash for, damn it) one, and this is exactly that. I'm about to compare it to League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, but not in a damning way - there is no imitation here, no squad of the Bard's best and brightest assembled by Falstaff in order to combat the nigh-unstoppable Bowdlerization Army. Rather, this book lives in the same joyful part of the Adventure/Black Humour/Reference Spotting Venn Diagram that League or, say, Fables (and The Unwritten, more and more) does. In other words, it's the kind of book that you appreciate both for its plot and for the skill with which aspects of other stories are being incorporated into this one.

Thus far,  Hamlet has been banished from Denmark, fought pirates and met Richard III, the legendary horseless bastard and possibly my favourite character from Shakespeare. Plus: ghosts, witches, dogs and divers alarums! Conor McCreery, Anthony Del Col and Andy Belanger: excellent book. I deeply regret having to pay you for it. Wait...

Turf No. 1 (of 5) - This came out last week and I missed it - so foolish. I bought a lot of damn books this week, though, so I'll wait until issue 2 to gush about it. Tiny review: vampires and aliens and gangsters in Prohibition-era New York. Looks fantastic. The kind of book that takes a long time to read and makes you wish it took longer.

Adventure Comics No. 10 - Did I accidently buy two copies of this? Damn it, I did. CURSE YOU, VARIANT COVERS! CURSE YOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

Action Comics No. 888 - I know I complain about the Project 7734 stuff in the Superman books a lot (note: this is because it is an INSANELY BORING comic book trope), but it's just one aspect of what's been going on for the last year or so, and I've really been enjoying the rest - particularly the stuff with Nightwing and Flamebird. And hey look: this comic is all about those two crazy kids and their crazy bird spirits!

Secret Six No. 20 - When I finished issue 19 of this book, I was pretty sure that the next issue would not feature Catman killing all or some of his team-mates, but I had to admit that the possibility was there. I am so happy about this! Gail Simone, how did you get me to think that maybe you would kill off a portion of your cast like that? Why are you so good at this? 

Ah, What Might Have Been...

 I recently re-read the original West Coast Avengers miniseries from 1984, which, if you don't already know, is the book where Hawkeye headed to California to head up a new Avengers franchise. Obviously, the guy was a trailblazer, since Avengers franchises keep popping up all over the damn place to this day. The first issue's cover, an old favourite of mine, showed the Brash Bowman putting out the call to a bunch of heroes--some with previous Avengers affiliation on record, some who were already committed to other teams, and still others who came way out of left field--and urged the curious reader to try and figure out who would make the lineup.

Looking at the silhouettes in the corner box, it wasn't too tough to figure out who made the cut--Mockingbird, Iron Man, Wonder Man, and Tigra all signed on, and thus began an East Coast-West Coast Avengers rivalry that, instead of resulting in vicious disses and unsolved murders, played itself out in the form of an annual softball game. Fun!

But, looking at the collection of floating heads on that cover to the first issue of the initial WCA miniseries, I couldn't help but wonder what might have happened if a different team had resulted. Putting on my metaphorical bald cap and cosmic toga, I played the part of Uatu the Watcher and imagined an even more random collection of heroes than the Defenders, a team who safeguards the American West Coast in some alternate reality somewhere...

...wow. That would have been the poorest-selling issue of What If? ever.

Danny the Bungalow? I Could No Longer Resist

I don't know about you folks, but I've been enjoying the hell out of the latest Doom Patrol series, partially because I really like the idea of the Patrol as a part of the Oolong Island scientocracy but also due to the fact that Keith Giffen has been doing a fantastic job of integrating some of the weirder elements of the team's past back into a continuity that had essentially been kicked back to the Sixties by the combined effects of the Byrne reboot and the Infinite Crisis de-boot.

So far we've seen a Chief very much in the super-manipulative jerk mode of the Morrison team, a very successful and inclusive synthesis of all of the various Negative Men into one character, a resolution to nearly fifty years of Robotman bemoaning his lost humanity and most recently the reintroduction of Crazy Jane and Danny the Street, two of the most thoroughly long-lost characters that I could name.

And of course that got me thinking: just what else will be reappearing from the murky depths of the Doom Patrol's past? Join me as I present the top ten people, things and tendencies that I would love to see make their way back into the light.

10. The Arsenal

Not of course the post-Speedy, pre-Red Arrow Roy Harper (and isn't he going to be going back to that name again soon?). No, this was a guy in a pretty radical set of robotic armour who had a trap-filled castle and a giant chip on his shoulder, the latter because he was maybe three feet tall.

I really do think that there is a place on Oolong for someone brilliant enough to design a humanoid exoskeleton that can nearly defeat the Doom Patrol but dumb enough to try to rob a bank in a humanoid exoskeleton that has no hands.

9. Scott Fischer

Scott was one of the unfortunate characters introduced pre-Morrison in the 1980s revival of the series, all of whom were surplus to requirements after Invasion and most of whom met with grisly ends, including joining the Suicide Squad, being shot by the Chief and getting exploded by aliens. Poor Scott wasn't even doing that well beforehand, since the same childhood snacking on toxic waste that gave him his powers also gave him leukemia, but things just got sad once the Dominators set off their gene bomb and provided hundreds of DC characters with origin stories. Somehow Scott managed to take the mysterious radiations that were giving folks the world over super-powers and turn them into even more leukemia, leading to his off-panel death. Poor kid never had a chance - he never even came back as a Black Lantern, for heaven's sake!

Plus, he's got huge Erik Larsen-style ears! Who can resist those?

8. The Codpiece

 

One of Rachel Pollack's very first creations for her turn as Doom Patrol scribe. The motivation behind the Codpiece's criminal career is refreshingly transparent, but will I ever see him in a non-Vertigo comic? Probably not.

7. The Return of R-2

Way back in the day there was an origin of the Chief that involved a young Niles Caulder being sponsored in his hunt for a means of conquering death. Too late, he discovered that his sponsor was the dastardly General Immortus! To prevent Immortus from becoming... even more immortal, Caulder enacted a plan that called for him to die and for his trusted robot aide R-2 to bring him back with science.

The whole thing was a complete success, although Caulder was no longer a walking man. And how did he reward the faithful servant that had brought him back from death itself?

 

Yep, two in the back of the robo-head. That is cold, brother Niles.

I would dearly love to see R-2 come back as a headless mechanical ghost, or even as a robot servant that doesn't get mob-style executed for doing a good job. Perhaps then the above panel would stop haunting my dreams.

6. Giant Guys With Delusions of Grandeur

 

 

 

 

 

They sure fought a lot of them. Why not a few more?

5. ROG!

Rog, the giant red robot used by the original Brotherhood of Evil: best giant robot ever? Judge for yourself:

Name me one other giant robot that has commenced an attempt to steal the Statue of Liberty by skiing up on two motorboats.

4. Shasta the Living Mountain

I know that he was just a useless, doomed-to-die sad sack character in Doom Force, the comic that only existed to mock the state of comics in the 90s, but how can you resist that sad little face?

 

Wait, no, it's a pretty hideous face. Well, maybe he could die again.

3. Ir, Ur and Ar, the Freaky Mutants

 

Ar, Ir and Ur, mutants caused by early atomic testing, were more than a match for the Doom Patrol. Heck, they almost took out the entire planet with a comet - the only reason that they didn't was that the Chief managed to trick them by employing the old Robot Gladiator From an Advanced Mutant-Run Alien Civilization Routine.

More importantly, these guys are completely freaky - they weird me out more  than any number of tentacled hell-beasts in actual horror comics have managed to do, especially the face-on-chest guy. I bet that they could be turned to good, unsettling use nowadays.

2. The Beard Hunter

 

So I like the idea of super-serious Niles Caulder having a ridiculous Punisher parody as an arch-enemy, so sue me.

1. GIANT ROBOT JUKEBOX

REE-DEE-DOO! REE-DEE-DOO!

I have loved a lot of giant robots down through the years - just last week I was loving those amazing red guys on the "Super Batman of Planet X!" episode of Batman: the Brave and the Bold - but the Giant Robot Jukebox holds a strong position in the race for the title of my favourite.

REE-DEE-DOO! REE-DEE-DOO!

Putting aside the glory of the design (and ignoring the mediocrity of the colour scheme), there's just something about the idea of a guy taking the fact that his company has assigned him to make a giant promotional jukebox and just totally seizing the day. this might, after all, be his only chance to make a giant robot on the company dime.

REE-DEE-DOO! REE-DEE-DOO! 

And in a world filled with super-humans doing super things, how great would it be to be able to tell your boss you were late because a giant robotic jukebox destroyed the bridge with bad pop?

Don't worry: this doesn't invalidate my affection for Rog, since he is clearly a giant robot that you ride around in and that is completely different than the kind that you just let loose to go smash things.

And that's that: my list of ten things, the appearance of any two or three of which in Doom Patrol will completely validate me. Feel free to let me know your own preferences in the comments section and I'll share the list of runners-up. Good night!

 

 

LBW Approved!: Superman vs Muhammad Ali statue

Displaying a statue of Superman fighting Muhammad Ali is a bold statement to make in your home or office. We at LBW believe that anyone who adorns their desk with this masterpiece is going to totally get that contract.

"So, I see that you like Superman...and Muhammad Ali," people will say as they enter your home.

Who would win this fight? It doesn't matter. Who wins when you buy this statue? Everyone.

A mere $250 is all it takes to treat everyone you know to the pleasure of gazing upon one of the greatest pieces of art ever created.

We at LBW also approve the upcoming deluxe hardcover re-release of the original Superman vs Muhammad Ali comic.  And, seriously, this statue is awesome.