Justice Society: Purveyors of Animal Knowledge

Oh the things that you learn when you read old issues of All-Star Comics.

Of course, it's not just learning about the true terrifying nature of the giant Galapagos turtle. The JSA also spreads the word on Australia's most diabolical kill-beast:

Yes, the JSA is committed to spreading the word about just how freakishly dangerous every animal on Earth is. Remember: no matter how harmless you believe a creature to be, don't turn your back on it, because it is a stone cold killer.

The Unfunnies: Maw Paw and Willie

I have to confess that I actually really like this comic. But this weekly feature is called the Unfunnies, and so honour demands that I find something to critique.

Pshh, five trumpets for a quarter? There goes my suspension of disbelief. It's a good thing that all of those children have such great hats, let me tell you, or the rage would overwhelm me.

This'un's from New Adventure Comics No. 14!

John Buys Comics, Has Snacks

Ides of Blood No. 1

I knew it! I knew that Wildstorm would fulfill its obligation to have at least one series that I want to buy in print at all times. As soon as Sparta, USA ended then this saga of vampire-infested Rome stepped to the fore.

You may have already seen the preview for this, as it’s been floating around for the last couple of weeks. If so, you know the basics: when Rome conquered the Balkan state of Dacia it found vampires running around, and so it enslaved them all and hauled them home, where they became the new underclass. So: a conceptual mashup, but an interesting one. What you DON’T know if you’ve only seen that preview is that this is also basically a police procedural, as Praetorian/vampire/former slave Valens attempts to solve a series of murders before the his enemy Brutus can do so. And that is awesome. There is seriously a scene where Valens does the equivalent of a ballistics test on some bite marks so that he can trace the vampire who did the biting. If he fires a werewolf into a barrel of water next issue then my reading experience will be complete.

I guess a part of me does cry out about historical inaccuracies and such, but then another part of me reminds the first part that it’s reading a comic about vampires in Ancient Rome and maybe it should shut up and let the rest of the brain enjoy itself if it knows what’s good for it.

Seedless Vol. 1

Man, I almost didn’t flip through this, which means that I wouldn’t have bought it, which means that my life would have had just a bit less joy in it.

I have no idea how to describe the plot of this book to you without making you cock an eyebrow and question my judgement, because it’s very weird. Check it: a trio of alien grapes (Dash, Funky and Pulse), having driven an evil grape mastermind (Crazy) off of their grape planet, pursue him to Earth, where they befriend a girl named Harmony and together try to stop Crazy (and his minion Fajita) from rebuilding his army using Terran grapes.

This book is like nothing so much as a late 80s/ early 90s Saturday morning cartoon: new characters and new powers are constantly being introduced, at a rate of about one per battle. What could get tiresome very quickly in a TV series, though, is here a source of pure joy, because Corey S. Lewis isn’t trying to sell you an ever-increasing stable of toys and accessories, he's just trying to draw an action-packed thrill ride. 

Usagi Yojimbo No. 1 – Will this be the thing that finally gets me to start buying the Usagi Yojimbo collections? Probably. These Dark Horse reprints are a great idea on that front, though it looks like they’ve already done a pretty good job on me, as this is the first one that I didn’t already have in some form. My bookshelf runneth over.

A Skeleton Story No. 1 - I seem to have frittered my evening away on chores and errands, so it's terse from here on out. I will be watching this series carefully, because my new catch phrase, as of now, is "Skeletons are the thinking man's zombies." I can only hope that it will make me wildly popular.

Streets of Gotham No. 15 – Good lord is Two-Face a great character when written well. Rounds of applause for this comic!

Oops, I ran out of time and there is a guacamole-based snack being offered to me! Away!

Pilgrim's Progress: Another Spoiler-Free Mini Review

 I went into the sneak preview of Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World with a lot of baggage. While I did enjoy Bryan Lee O’Malley’s comic series, I’ve been feeling a bit burnt out on the whole phenomenon. It’s the kind of franchise that attracts a lot of hyper, obsessive fans who love it to an embarrassing degree, and its imminent arrival as a motion picture has also attracted a bunch of jaded newbies—the type who disdainfully throw the first volume on the counter at the store and ask me, with a dismissive sniff, “So is this movie gonna be any good?”. Somewhere between the two, I’ve tried to maintain an attitude of cautious optimism, mostly based on the involvement of Edgar Wright (Spaced, Shaun Of The Dead, Hot Fuzz). I’m happy to say, though, that Scott Pilgrim won me over pretty quickly with its fast pace, cool action, relentless comedy, winning cast, and inspired soundtrack.

 In case you’ve been living under a rock, here’s the plot: Toronto slacker Scott Pilgrim (Michael Cera) is a bass-playing slacker who’s sort-of dating a high school girl (I say sort-of because it’s less a romance and more a way of avoiding responsibility for Scott, as well as avoiding the possible heartbreak of a real relationship after his last one went sour). When he meets Ramona Flowers, the literal girl of his dreams (Mary Elizabeth Winstead), Scott is instantly smitten, but soon learns that to win her heart, he’ll have to defeat her seven evil exes. Lots of rock and roll, drama, heartbreak, and Nintendo-style battles ensue, punctuated with Wright’s signature pushing of multiple pop-culture buttons.

 While star Michael Cera isn’t really going to do a lot to reverse the ongoing backlash against his well-worn awkward goofball persona here, he fits the lead character well and acquits himself surprisingly during the movie’s many fight scenes. The supporting cast is filled with reliable comedy MVPs and actiony superguys playing against type. Kieran Culkin, as Scott’s roommate Wallace, has a lot of the film’s best lines, and Chris Evans and Brandon Routh subvert their filmic superhero personas to hilarious effect as two of Ramona’s evil exes (a third superhero actor shows up in a cameo appearance, leading to one of the movie’s best and funniest background gags, but I won’t spoil it here). The soundtrack is a lot of fun as well, featuring really catchy Sex Bob-omb (Scott’s fictional band) songs written by Beck, as well as Frank Black, T-Rex, The Rolling Stones, and Canadian faves Metric and Broken Social Scene (not to mention Plumtree, the Halifax band whose song gave Scott Pilgrim its title).

 None of this would work, however, without the sure hand of Edgar Wright guiding the ship. Scott Pilgrim is crammed with visual cleverness (after learning of the seven evil exes, Scott walks down a street framed by X’s on street signs) and bursting with cool video-game battles (when opponents are defeated, they usually dissolve into a pile of tokens). The many digital effects required for the various zero-gravity smackdowns, magically-conjured monster avatars, and flaming katanas are seamlessly blended into the live-action stunt work with funny and exciting results. Scott Pilgrim feels like no other movie before it, and it’s the kind of material that probably couldn’t have been brought to life in such an impressive and accessible way by any other director. Extra kudos to Wright and company for keeping the Canadian-ness of the books present throughout the movie—Honest Ed’s, Second Cup, and Lee’s Palace are all on display thoughout, and the coins dispensed by defeated opponents visibly include loonies and toonies. With its very specific pop-cultural touchstones, Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World is likely going to alienate a lot of older viewers, but for those of a certain generation, it’s likely to strike a very appealing chord.

The Unfunnies: The Rise of Shorty

Shorty is an odd character. Below you'll see his earliest incarnation (or at least the earliest that I've run into), a pocket-sized office boy. Later on he showed up as a sailor, a small-town teen and a salvage diver - basically he was around for as long as DC Comics was running allegedly-humorous strips in their magazines. No matter what happened, Shorty adapted to the times - it's possible, in fact, that I just figured out the secret origin of Oberon.

The weird thing about Shorty, at least in these early cartoons, is that he's funny, yet not funny. Here, read this:

See? Shorty is funny: he looks funny, he talks in an amusing manner ("Un-ungh! A century note!!"), he has a boos who is basically always acting in a slightly surreal way, he shoots little puffs of smoke out behind him while he walks... But when we get to the end, poof. No punchline, because of course Shorty is happy to have gotten a bunch of candy for free. I would, and I'm not a bizarre man/child/homunculus.

This one's from World's Finest Comics No. 25