Unfunnies: Jail Jests

As I've mentioned before, a lot of these comics were themed according to the book that they were appearing in - Aquaman comics, for instance, were well-stocked with one-pagers about skin-divers. Batman comics took things a bit further by featuring a whole family of comics themed around crime and punishment: "Casey the Cop" chased "Lefty Looie" the thief and threw him into a prison (setting of "Jail Jests") administered by "Warden Willis". And they all crossed over: Casey sometimes worked at the jail; Warden Willis and Lefty Looie showed up in "Jail Jests", etc. For throwaway gag comics, there was a surprising amount of backstory.

Here's Lefty Looie:

Yup, that's a painted-on outfit, years ahead of its time. Might need a bit more thought, though.

Mostly, though, I keep on thinking about how sad Looie must have been once he realized just how hot a layer of paint can get. Poor doofus.

- from Batman no. 137

John Buys Comics, the Thrilling Return

Back to the comic-buying grind again, oh what fresh stale hell is this. I kid, of course - if I got paid for this it would be the best job ever.

First, some Last Week's News, cold off the presses. Did you know that The Outfit came out last week? You probably knew that. But just in case you were, like me, out of touch for a time I will repeat myself: The Outfit came out last week! And on the off chance that you have no idea what I'm talking about: way back in the Sixties novelist Donald Westlake came up with a character named Parker and started writing novels about him under the pen name Richard Stark. Parker is basically a sonovabitch, a freelance thief who pulls two or three big jobs a year and spend the rest of the time living the high life in hotels and resorts around the world. Parker is basically an ultracompetent sociopath and is one of the most enjoyable characters in literature. The books typically feature Parker and a rotating series of other thieves pulling off one or more big scores, usually while Parker is simultaneously trying to solve some small complication in his life, like being blackmailed or having the mob put a price on his head. It's all pretty wonderful.

 

And now Darwyn Cooke is adapting the series into comic books, first with last year's The Hunter (also adapted into the Mel Gibson movie Payback, trivia fans) and now with The Outfit. And let me tell you, the right guy is on the job. Bothe Cooke and Westlake-as-Stark operate in a glorious Fifties-shading-into-Sixties aesthetic so very well, and as a result the books both look and read like they were written just for my nostalgia-riddled soul. And of course the violence (of which there is much) is marvellously choreographed. Really, the only bad thing about the whole thing is having to wait for the next instalment. Where's my instant gratification, dang it?

Even farther back, a whole two weeks ago, Fantagraphics Books came out with the amazing Four Color Fear, a book that would have made my month all by itself. More on this one in a later post - tis the season, after all. 

THIS WEEK!

Batmans - Unless I missed an something in the confusion, the Scheduling Fairy has gotten drunk on her way to DC yet again. I mean, it's very possible that I did miss something, but shouldn't Bruce Wayne be returned to the DC Universe proper some time after the Return of Bruce Wayne series actually finishes? I guess it is awfully close, but having the penultimate issue of that particular series in the same pile of comics as the opening salvo of the Bruce Wayne: the Road Home event felt a little weird.

I can't get too worked up about the whole thing though, since The Road Home is following my very favourite event format and taking place in its own one-shots and minis instead of horning in on the associated ongoings that I enjoy so well unmolested. Way to diffuse my nerd-rage, DC.

Oh, the comics themselves? Not bad. The one-shots that I picked up were entertaining enough to justify their existence, which is always nice. I'd say pick 'em up if you're reading the associated series but don't feel left out if you don't. Meanwhile, The Return of Bruce Wayne didn't deliver awesome in quite the concentration that I'd gotten used to but that's to be expected with a next-to-last issue. Next issue: total awesomeness.

Wait, does Knight and Squire fit here? Sure it does. Here is the easy calculation to determine whether you should buy this issue: take the delight that you felt when you read the preview for this a couple of weeks ago - and both zero delight and negative delight count - and multiply it by five, because the whole issue is just exactly as wonderful. Then, simply follow your heart. Paul Cornell and Jimmy Broxton are doing a terrific job of expanding the British corner of the DCU its own distinct place, one that has more than just a handful of characters with accents. Instead, they are developing both a rich retroactive history and a distinctive cultural flavour for the British superfolk scene. Plus, you know, Knight and Squire, two of the most criminally underutilized characters in comics, get their day in the sun. Hooray!

And in further Batman news, Masks and Monsters, the latest Hellboy collection came out this week and it's great. It contains the Hellboy/Starman/Batman crossover which among other things features Mike Mignola drawing super-heroes, which is one of thie things that brings me the most joy in this life. If I were ever to get acquisitive enough to collect anything obsessively it would definitely be Mignola-style super-hero drawings. So delightfully barrel-chested!

I think that I'll leave it at that, or perhaps at bat. Old things and bat things. Let's call it a theme week.

Dispatches From London: Retrospect Roundup

Hello all. Johnathan here, back in Canada and fortified with a Thanksgiving meal of my own devising. My system seems to be in slight shock over the prospect of not eating at a restaurant for the first time in literally one week, but I'm confident that the wholesome foodstuffs will prevail.

As mentioned in my last post, I headed back to the British Museum one last time on Saturday night, long after it closed. You see, while admiring the treasures of Sutton Hoo earlier that day, I had espied one Johnny Spectacles, acting suspicious among the antiquities. I trailed him to the Assyrian exhibit, where he made a mysterious exit under the cover of a winged lion. My curiosity was piqued: after all, Spectacles was supposed to be aiding John Thane in investigating a rash of burglaries in an entirely different part of the city. I resolved to investigate further.

Upon my return, a shocking discovery! First, Johnny Spectacles was deep in conversation with none other than the Ghost of Darwin! Second, through snatches of conversation I was able to ascertain that Johnny Spectacles was not in fact the other-dimensional twin of John Thane but an artificially-evolved rattus norvegicus, created as part of one of that bearded fiend's unfathomable long-range schemes, one that was coming to fruition at that very moment! What's more, they had John Thane trapped in the bounds of a mystical tetrahedron, no doubt to be messily destroyed at some later date.

I'll spare you the details and nitpickery, but suffice to say that together with a freed John Thane I managed to foil Darwin, plus I got to fight some mummies! Well, I think that they were actually some sort of bandage-dwelling fungus that Darwin had spot-evolved to lurch around and attack us, but the point is that I fought mummies in the British Museum, and that's a memory that will last forever.

Dispatches From London: Dispatch the Third

Events have transpired!

On the more mundane end of things, I finally had the full English breakfast and it haunts me yet. Even through the haze of an enormous Spanish meal I can still feel the haunting presence of beans on toast, fried egg, tomato and all of their friends.

Big surprise, though! I spent most of the day at the Britsh Museum and have made a very interesting discovery about our friend Johnny Spectacles. Tonight shall be a busy time, oh yes. More on my triumphant return to Canada.

-johnathan

Dispatches From London: Dispatch the Second

Johnny Spectacles is still being a Thane-hog, so I have no tales of grand adventure to share (though Darwin's Ghost has been making nightly appearances in my hotel room to taunt me. I WILL find your evolvo-ray, old man! I swear it!).

In the meantime, I took in the Wallace Collection, and it was amazing. First, there was the art, of which this fine fellow:

 

was the highlight. But even more spectacular was the weapon collection. Remember in the AD&D Player's Handbook, how they had just pages upon pages of medieval-style weaponry? I have now seen almost all of them in person. Even the polearms. Hooray! 

Dispatches From London: Dispatch the First

Not much to report so far, I'm afraid. I made phone contact with John Thane, the Johnathan of Britain, but it turns out that I managed to show up right in the middle of his annual teamup with his Earth Z counterpart Johnny Spectacles.

Oh! And I went to Westminster Abbey, where I picked up some very valuable clues that will surely help me plunder the treasures of Darwin's Tomb. Wish me luck!

-johnathan