Wednesday Interview: Vordak the Incomprehensible

Recently, I was contacted by retired evil mastermind Vordak T. Incomprehensible in regard to the recent publication of his guide for youngsters: Vordak the Incomprehensible: How to Grow Up and Rule the World. Well, I say "contacted", but it was more like "kidnapped and forced to read a book at photon cannon-point". Still, despite the stress and the fact that I am a bit too old to benefit from the wisdom imparted by the book, I found it entertaining enough to ask Vordak for an interview. Well, I say "ask", but it was more like "plead embarrassingly while an enormous eunuch threatened me with a genetically-modified meerkat". Basically the same thing.

On to the interview!

Hail, mighty Vordak! Thank you for agreeing to this interview at an undisclosed location.

Blah, blah, blah. Next time at least disclose the location to ME—I’ve been wandering around here for hours!

Whoops, sorry about that. So, how is retirement suiting you - has the adjustment to civilian life been difficult? Are you still keeping up world domination as a hobby or have you moved on to other things?

Joining the ranks of ordinary humanity has been less appealing than I had anticipated, largely because ordinary humanity is so…ordinary. What I need to do is find a clump of extraordinary humanity, where I would fit in rather nicely. And no, I have managed to stay away from world domination the past few years. I now enjoy gardening.

I didn't see any sign of this in your book but I had to ask: did you ever employ gorillas in any of your plots? Gentle giant or not, those things seem to be natural tools of villainy.

I have found that gorillas are far too intelligent to serve as minions. I much prefer using zombies or members of Congress.

What would it take to put you back in action? Is there a potential target just too tempting to pass up if an opportunity were to arise?

I have to say I would still jump at the opportunity to dispose of Commander Virtue once and for all. But it would have to be a slam dunk—that leotard-laden lackwit’s repeated last-second escapes from my Diabolically Clever Yet Extremely Slow-Acting Death Traps have been a source of great frustration over the years.

Have you rewarded your art and writing slaves for completing the book? Are their services being retained for a possible sequel?

Slaves? Would slaves be kept locked in a dungeon and forced to do my bidding? Would slaves be fed one cold bowl of gruel a day? Would slaves receive nothing from me in terms of praise or gratitude for their service? OK, I see your point.

And yes, there will be a sequel and yes, they will be retained. I really don’t want to go through the hassle of finding an acceptable illustrator again.

I have a four year-old nephew, and I frequently get the impression that he might have world-conquering tendencies. Is he too young to start his career? Is preschool an appropriate place for such activities?

Preschool is an excellent venue for early Planetary Despot training. I can think of over 37 evil uses for a glue stick alone.

Hmm. If I do introduce my nephew to world domination as a potential career path, what is a reliable way to stay on his good side so that I don't end up ruthlessly enslaved? Will good Christmas presents be enough or should I put in some extra effort?

Well, you will have to prove yourself of some use to the little tyrant if you hope to ultimately hold a place in his Hierarchy of Evil. Early on, I would think wiping cupcake residue off his face and cueing up his Dora the Explorer DVDs would place you in good stead.

Finally, do you have any extra tips for those Vordak devotees shrewd enough to read all of your interviews? Something to give them a bit of a leg up on conquering over those less faithful?

What, for free? I believe I feel an Evil Laugh coming on MUAHAHAHAHA!! OK, I’ll tell you what. Here is an invaluably valuable chart of great value to help get you started on your evil costume design. Remember—you’re only as evil as you look!

Well, thank you again, oh Vordak, both for the interview and for leaving me undisintegrated. *scampers off*

Minor Villain Showcase: The Blaze

Today, coming to you from World's Finest No. 7, The Blaze!

 

High Point of Career:

As with many of the ne'er-do-wells in my Minor Villain Files, The Blaze only really had one shot at the big time and it's possible that he knew it, because the guy went all-out on his helmet in (I am guessing) an attempt to make himself memorable enough to be a recurring Green Arrow nemesis. And he should have been - look at that thing! That is not some sort of mist coming off of the top but rather a metallic flame licking up from his diabolical cranium. Together with the riveted sections up front, the faux-flame makes this the best new helmet that I've seen all year.

Mode of Defeat:

Ironically, it was the helmet that was the Blaze's undoing, and not due to some sort of accident involving a low doorway:

This illustrates what I feel to be the main reason that the Blaze has failed to return, cool look or no: sheer dumbness. Having spent ten pages fighting an expert archer who has already tried to shoot his helmet off once before, the Blaze neglects to outfit himself with a chin strap. Also, the orange jumpsuit loses all of its charm on a helmless man.

Low Point of Career:

The Blaze's plan is clever: set buildings on fire and then rob them in the confusion. However, the way that he sets the buildings on fire...

... that's real low.

So here's to the Blaze. A snappy dresser but a real jerk to birds.

 

The Unfunnies: The Other Shorty

Somehow, my four-day weekend has turned into the sort of social whirlwind that precludes actual comic-reading, so while I have purchased such highly-anticipated books as the Superman vs Muhammad Ali reissue and the Kill Shakespeare trade I as yet have no opinions to share on 'em.

But since part of the social insanity has been a houseguest and that houseguest is a dog and that dog is a Welsh Corgi, I think that it is time to introduce DC Comics' other character named Shorty:

 

This particular Shorty is part of a loose society of cartoon dogs from the early days of DC. Pretty standard stuff (the wiener dog doesn't realize how long he is! LOL!) but interesting in that the dogs that they feature are basically all criminals, concerned only with fighting and stealing. Kind of like real dogs, actually - thankfully, our dog-guest is too short to steal and too prudent to fight, so things are going smoothly.

- From Superman No. 3

"It's Because I'm a CHICKEN, Isn't It?"

 ELMER is a new graphic novel by Gerry Alanguilan (primarily an inker, best known for his collaborations with Leinil Francis Yu) that explores a world where chickens have suddenly gained human-like intelligence and the ability to speak. That sounds ridiculous, and it is, but it’s also by turns funny, heartbreaking, horrifying, and thought-provoking. This black-and-white volume follows Jake, an unemployed chicken with some serious anger issues and a dysfunctional family, headed by a couple of ailing parents. When his father, Elmer, finally passes away, Jake inherits his journal. Elmer’s writings reveals the early days of what the chickens call “the great awakening”—that is, the mysterious flash in the sky that gives them sentience—as well as the near-genocide that follows, the resulting struggle for civil rights, and Elmer’s touching friendship with Ben, the local farmer who saved his life.

 

ELMER can be enjoyed on multiple levels—science-fiction allegory, dysfunctional family drama, or just a crazy book about chickens who can talk and coexist with man. Alanguilan’s intricate linework calls to mind other black-and-white indie comics craftsmen like Eric Shanower and Jason Lutes, and his writing is sensitive, honest, and occasionally really funny (at a job interview gone wrong, Jake screams out "EQUAL OPPORTUNITY MY PINK PLUCKED FLABBY SCABBY ASS!"). What could have been a fairly shallow, jokey premise gradually evolves into a highly original fable about family and intolerance, and it’s one of my favourite graphic novels of the year. Check out a preview at SLG's website here.

Wednesday Interview: Owen Craig

This week (and possibly also last week - reports vary) sees the first trade collection of me-favourite Kill Shakespeare in stores, and in addition to the tale of a plucky Danish prince embroiled in a sea of Elizabethan intrigue and attempted deicide, the book features a bonus story written by newcomers Owen Craig and Curtis Westman. To commemorate this event, here is an extra-special bonus feature for this here blog, namely the return of the Wednesday Interview for a talk with Owen Craig!

Huzzah, and here we go:

First of all, how about a pocket bio of Owen Craig?

I was born in Perth, Ontario. Don't worry if you haven't heard of it, it's an extremely small town located between Kingston and Ottawa. I moved to Toronto as a teenager and then I went to York University to study theatre where I became interested in both comics and writing (remember that, it'll be important later). I started doing some work with a high school friend, Curtis Westman, and we collaborated on a short film called "Hamlet: A Comedy in Three Acts", which lead to us writing together on a regular basis. Since then it's been pretty much business as usual for any budding writer: working a boring day job and writing in the evenings and on weekends.

So: your story is appearing in an upcoming trade of Kill Shakespeare. Give us the one-sentence plot hook that will make everyone completely unable to pass it up. And maybe throw in a couple of other sentences if you feel the need.

Yeah, our story is in the first trade paperback of Kill Shakespeare. Curtis (my writing partner, I don't remember if I established that I work with a writing partner) and I approached this story with the goal of building on the Kill Shakespeare world. When looking at their concept it occurred to us that one Shakespearean play which would be difficult for Conor and Anthony to bring in would be Julius Caesar, so we've taken the moment of Brutus making his decision about whether or not to participate in the conspiracy to murder Caesar and shown how that particular moment plays out in the context of the Kill Shakespeare comic. It's basically a fun Easter egg for fans of both Shakespeare and fans of Kill Shakespeare, with some pretty cool ties into the main book.

How did you get mixed up in all of this Kill Shakespeare nonsense, anyway?

While at the Wizardworld Toronto (formally known as the Paradise Toronto Comicon) show I came across the Kill Shakespeare table. As a former theatre student I was naturally intrigued by the book. I ended up talking to Conor and Anthony for... I don't know... half an hour? It was one of those "damn, I wish I'd thought of it" concepts. On an impulse I asked them if they would let me pitch them an idea for a backup story and, much to my surprise, they accepted. So I got together with Curtis and we wrote up a couple of proposals, which they ended up liking. It's pretty much the classic story of being in the right place at the right time with the right idea. Conor and Anthony deserve a lot of credit for giving a couple of first-time writers their first break, it's an extremely cool thing that they're doing and I couldn't appreciate it more. Between the opportunity, their guidance and their constructive criticism I owe them a lot.

Did you have to revise your plot at all? Were there any cases of Conor and Anthony saying that they were actually already using Character X for something in the main plot, or did such things come together without a hitch?

We pitched them a couple of stories, and there were definitely some characters that we quickly realized were more off-limits than others. One of the stories we pitched was problematic because we were told that the character we wanted to use wouldn't be introduced until issue 7 or 8, so our story would predate the character's first appearance. That's part of the reason we pitched a Julius Caesar story, as there would be no crossover characters and it gave us a lot of freedom.

It's worth mentioning, though, that Conor and Anthony were extremely generous about letting us play around with some fairly major elements of their story. In fact, there are a couple of hints in our story as to what is coming up in the main book (yet another reason for fans to buy the trade).

Where can people look for more Owen and/or Curtis if they like what they see in the trade?

Well, nothing is coming up soon, but you can rest assured that Curtis and I are hard at work on some original material we hope to be pitching to publishers in the near future. We have a few ideas that we're very excited about. Plus, if everyone's happy with this story than there's always a chance that there might be another Owen/Curtis story in the second Kill Shakespeare trade! In the meantime you can check out our blog at www.bunchofice.com, Curtis and my website.

Gratuitous Canadian question: How do you take your Tim's?

Well, I may not drink a lot of Tim's but I think I can top that for being Canadian: I WORKED at Tim's. That's right, I worked at the Tim Horton's in Perth (Ontario), which falls on Highway 7 between Ottawa and Kingston. Let me say, everyone, treat the staff there well. They work extremely hard.

And finally, a two-parter: name your favourite a) play by Shakespeare and b) comic book series and attempt to link them thematically.

Favourite Shakespeare book and comic series...that's a tough one. I don't know that I could pick a favourite of either, definitively, but I'm a huge fan of both Hamlet and James Robinson's Starman. Both are stories about young men who find themselves suddenly immersed in a situation they don't want to be in and don't understand. And, hey, both young men spend more time thinking and talking about their situation rather than acting on it! There you go!

Edit: Whoops, I'm a dope. I didn't even think to ask about who did the art on the bonus story. Turns out that it's J. Bone and it's unsurprisingly awesome.

You've come a long way, Bat-Baby.

From Detective Comics No. 410:

No super-deep points to make here, I just wanted to post this ridiculous picture, from a time when Batgirl was an accepted part of the Batman Family, yet was primarily concerned with catching lonely-hearts killers or investigating crooked wig manufacturers or, as here, protecting a top fashion model whose life was in danger from a clothing manufacturer that stood to lose millions if she endorsed the wrong length dress for the coming season.

Dames, eh? Who can figure 'em?