Cursed Linear Flow of Time...

So: I've recently been enjoying both the rip-roaring good times of TV's Breaking Bad and the fun-filled romps of early 90s Punisher comics. In general, these activities have increased my quality of life, but today, in one of those once-in-a-lifetime cosmic realizations that can really ruin an afternoon, I was made aware that the world had missed out on a magical crossover opportunity:

Now, the actual story involves the Punisher getting mixed up with a biker gang/eco-protest group named the Satan's Lords (And their cranked-up leader Hec, who drove the point home by snorting meth off of a Bowie knife and turng on his closest advisors, the cad), but imagine a world in which twenty-plus years wasn't an insurmountable obstacle to creative works interacting with one another.

Picture this world, and now picture an extra narration box on the page above, one that begins, "Word has it that there's a new player on the Arizona meth scene, a mystery man named Heisenburg..."

The Unfunnies:

If there is a recurring theme of Doctor Rocket comics, it is this: even the majestic, alien depths of space can be full of mind-numbing tedium.

Here we find the good Doctor and his nameless assistant on a planet so consumed with civic planning and associated traffic control issues that their first reaction upon discovering an alien spacecraft is to issue it a parking ticket. If only this were a multi-pager, we might have been able to witness the majesty of the alien courthouse. Or perhaps we could have seen the intricacies of a cosmic currency-exchange service and thrilled along with the intrepid duo as they haggled over exchange rates!

Ah, for an interdimensional portal.

The Unfunnies: Angry Calls from the Greek Government

Peter Puptent! Rotund world traveller! Discoverer of marvels! Forder of rivers! Legend in the field!

And his new assistant Lenny!

Peter Puptent's hiring policies need to be tightened up a bit!

The Battle Against Inertia

So: there's something about having a website knocked out of commission for a year that really breaks any sort of rhythm that you've got going, post-wise. Not, I hasten to add, that I was going all-out in the months leading up to Living Between Wednesdays' infiltration by just the worst malware ever (and by worst I both mean that it was very irritating to get rid of and also that it did little more than insert an invisible link to a defunct website on every page here, thus accomplishing nothing, I think), but if nothing else I was happily churning out a few items a month for your delectation. 

That year of inactivity drags at me, even now that the site is back in human control once more. But a man... a man must CREATE, and to that end I am resolving to update this dang site again, and frequently! Several times! I've re-learned how to upload images and everything! Look:

That there is a headshot of Joe Modem, the scrappy hero-style character I created for Armagideon Time Andrew's Ultimate Heroes Jam project, in which he rolls up a character using the old Marvel RPG character creation rules and then someone like me tries to make a coherent character out of the resultant mess. Fun!

Keep on tuning in for more... things and stuff... soon. Yes... soon.

I promise!

Fresh From the Theatre: Evil Dead

The good: Pretty clever set-up, lots of non-obnoxious callbacks and enough jump scares that I got my money's worth.

The bad: For an Evil Dead movie it takes itself a bit too seriously; the characters maybe have a few too many dumb moments.

On the whole: worth checking out if such a movie is to your taste.

BONUS: I totally guaged the type of smart-ass teen that was sitting behind me (ie, exactly the kind of dumbass smart-ass teen that I used to be) and correctly predicted that one of them would knowingly identify the cabin as "The one from Cabin in the Woods". Take my scorn, whippersnappers! I laugh at you from my thereputic bath!

Belated Review of The Hobbit

I don't have much to say about The Hobbit. If you liked Middle Earth as envisioned by Hollywood (via New Zealand) in the past, well, here's some more of it. It's good. There are orcs. But I definitely have one note for all involved.

If you're making a movie with a lot of characters, and you make one character the fat one, and then you give the fat one a comically large spoon to use as a weapon, the for God's sake have him bop someone on the head with his huge spoon. 

It was a three hour movie! One bop! Augh!