Wonder Girl vs Shark vs Octopus (Winner = Readers)

Comics are late this week because of Canadian Thanksgiving (which I am still full from).

So, in the meantime here is a little taste of the awesomeness that is Showcase Presents Wonder Woman.

I thought this might be the greatest panel ever:

Until I saw this one later on the same page:

She totally threw that shark into that octopus.

I absolutely love the bug-eyes on that octopus. Dude is pissed.

If you need to be sold on this Showcase collection, let me tell you that the first half of the book features stories based on the following repeating premises:

1. Steve Trevor asking Wonder Woman to marry him; Wonder Woman refusing because she can't be married as long as there is even one person left in the world in need of rescuing; Steve coming up with ridiculous bet or challenge that, if lost by Wonder Woman, means she has to marry him; Steve losing bet.

2. There are more than one Wonder Woman and someone (Steve, Wonder Woman's mom) has to pick out the real Wonder Woman.

3. Wonder Woman being faced with an utterly insane challenge; Wonder Woman emerging victorious.

There are stories that combine all three of these things.

The second half of the book features a lot of Wonder Girl stories, like the one I posted panels from above. These mostly involve Wonder Girl rescuing her Mer-boy "friend" from various crazy creatures. They also involve Wonder Girl attempting to meet or see Wonder Woman in person, which by Amazon law is impossible. Or whatever.

What I am saying is that Robert Kanigher makes Bob Haney seem like a master storyteller. These stories are totally nuts.

This Week's Haul: Rush Job

I gotta do this week's reviews in a hurry because I am studying for my mid-terms. Sorry in advance for the lack in quality.

Action Comics #856

We need more comics that open with a little girl being pushed off a balcony:

More Bizarro awesomeness from Eric Powell, Geoff Johns and Richard Donner.

Bizarro Lois and Jimmy:

Bizarro Mxy:

Bizarro Doomsday:

I also really liked Bizarro Lex Luthor because I picture him talking the same, sounding all dignified and smart, but with the Bizarro-style mixed-up words.

As with the last issue, the Powell art is amazing. There was so much cool stuff on this page alone:

Powell makes Superman's eye blasts look extra crazy. And that panel of Supes getting punch by four fists at once is pretty awesome. As is the one below it. Pa Kent's POV there is pretty nuts.

I can't wait to see more of the Bizarro Justice League in the next issue. The last page in this one cracked me up.

The All New Atom #16

The awesome thing about this issue is that Roger Stern was filling in for Gail Simone, and he did such a great job that I didn't even notice. It's nice to know that, if Simone ever had to abandon Ryan Choi, it's possible that someone else could write him just as well.

Ok, so this was great. Laugh-out-loud funny as usual.

The other nice thing about this issue is that, for reasons I can only attribute to perhaps an increased interest in the title since the search for Ray Palmer began, it brings the reader up to speed on everything that happened previously. But it's done throughout the comic in a way that isn't boring. I can see being confused if you picked up an issue of The Atom as to why Ryan lives with a giant, floating alien head.

Anyway, great issue. Great series.

Green Lantern Corps #16

Planet Fight!!!!!!!

Hells yeah!

Also, the guardians have decided that it's alright for the lanterns to get their kill on:

Our heroes waste no time. They just start laying waste to the Sinestro Corps immediately:

So the tide has turned in the epic space battle. And it's heading to Earth. Which we knew already from the last Green Lantern issue, but still...it's gonna be dope!

I really liked Sodam Yat's battle-ravaged look:

He could totally patch that suit up with his ring. He chooses not to.

Countdown Week 30

I liked this issue. I think this series might be getting better. Maybe. It still has thirty issues in which it can become awesome. Right now it's pretty good...most of the time.

There was a lot of Piper/Trickster stuff in this one, which I always appreciate. And our Ray Palmer-searchers landed on an Earth where Jason Todd is Batman and the Atom is a chick and Donna Troy is Wonder Woman and Kyle is...Kyle. I couldn't really tell them apart.

"We don't know these people, Donna, stop handing out personal information." Can anyone else tell what is wrong with that sentence?

Hehe..."Happy fun-time Batman." Oh, I really hope they find that Earth.

Countdown Presents The Search for Ray Palmer: Crime Society #1

So I guess it is possible for this crazy idea for a series to be good...you just have to get Sean McKeever to write it.

This was really enjoyable. So much better than that Wildstorm one that was out a few weeks ago. The whole comic is a really entertaining life story of the Jokester, who we met in last week's Countdown and who is now following Team Palmer around. I highly recommend.

Detective Comics #837

Not a lot of Batman in this one, but that's cool. It was a really good fill-in-the-blanks issue that explained how Harley found her way to the Amazonian women's shelter in Metropolis. Plus, Bruce Wayne hires The Riddler, who you'll recall is on the straight and narrow now and working as a private detective, to recover some stolen goods. This leads to Riddler teaming up with Harley because the thief is also at the shelter.

It's fun.

JLA/Hitman #2

This was awesome.

For one thing, I love how much Batman hates Tommy:

And I love how much Tommy loves making Batman angry.

I also love a powerless Kyle having to take a guy out with a chair:

Yes, it's all very awesome and hilarious.

But here's the twist...this comic is really very touching. It basically serves as a love letter Ennis is writing for his late character, Tommy Monaghan. And the letter is narrated by Superman, who is telling the story to a reporter. And it gets do damn sad, you wouldn't believe it. This two-part series is really great. I never expected this kind of love to be put into an Ennis comic. Particularly not a JLA comic. I'm impressed.

Metal Men #3

I'm not going to pretend to always understand what's going on in this comic, but I definitely love looking at it.

I mean, I do get what's going on. There's just so much...science.

But it's a very fun read and Magnus is adorably nerdy and every single panel is stunning:

Just look at the perfection that is this page:

The lighting and shadowing in this comic is really fantastic. Look at that panel with the flashlight!

I love Magnus practicing his marriage proposal, and trying to not bring science into it.

Supergirl #22

Hands down, the best issue of Supergirl yet. She kicked so much ass and was so cool.

And at the end she totally stands up to Superman and tells him that she can live her own life and she doesn't need him playing father figure all the time. Superman surprises her by agreeing with her.

And then the Teen Titans surprise me by walking out of that barn, where I guess they have been hiding. Which is really weird. And great.

That's the end of the Bedard/Guedes run, sadly. It kinda feels like it should be the end of the series, but they are going to keep going with it. I am curious to see where they take it. The next run sounds kind of inspired by her appearances in the Brave and the Bold, at least in terms of her taking part in some inter-galactic missions which involve JLA members. We'll see...

Blah. Alright, that's all I have time for. Back to statistics.

Q&A with Josh Elder

Josh Elder burst onto the comic scene in 2005 when his short story "Mail Order Ninja" won Tokyopop's Rising Stars of Manga contest. Since then two volumes of Mail Order Ninja have been published by Tokyopop, and it has run as a syndicated comic strip in newspapers across America. Elder has also been writing issues of The Batman Strikes for DC's all-ages Johnny DC line (issue #36 is already on shelves, and more Elder issues will be out in early 2008).

Mail Order Ninja is based on the awesome concept of a young boy, Timmy McAllister, ordering a ninja from a catalogue to help deal with his bully problem. The ninja, Yoshida Jiro, arrives 2-3 weeks later in a crate. He lives with Timmy and his family, obediently following Timmy around like a pet. Timmy is determined to take back the school from the bullies and from Felicity Huntington, the rich and evil student body president. Felicity ends up ordering an army of her own ninjas, which leads to a giant ninja rumble at the school dance.

Simply having a story that involves ninjas beating up bullies should be enough to win over most kids. But Mail Order Ninja also has the added bonus of being very funny. Elder writes with a clever and wacky sense of humour that doesn't dumb down anything for kids. I lost count of the amount of crazy post-modern incidents, such as Timmy reading the very volume of Mail Order Ninja that I was holding. Every character is introduced, Vonnegut-style, with a few quick stats. The books poke fun at everything from youth-focused advertising, to pop music, to the absurdity of school politics. Maybe this is what happens when my generation, the most cynical and over-stimulated, starts writing books; the story is fast-paced and insane and packs in a ton of stuff on every page.

I really like that Timmy's teacher is one of the heroes of the book. Often in books written for kids the teachers are one-dimensional non-characters, or they are the enemy. Ms. Melton is not only one of Timmy's allies, she has a great romance subplot with Jiro.

Elder has a real gift for writing young people. His issue of The Batman Strikes was a lot of fun, and I look forward to more.

Josh Elder was kind enough to do a Q&A with me about the importance of intelligent all-ages comics, writing Batman, and dealing with bullies.

Q: One of my favourite things about Mail Order Ninja is that it has an intelligent sense of humour that doesn't talk down to kids. This seems to be a trend in children's entertainment over the past decade or so (I'd say particularly starting with Disney's One Saturday Morning cartoon line-up from the late nineties). We're seeing it continued in comics like this one and Amelia Rules. When you're writing all-ages books, are you consciously trying to incorporate a "mature" sense of humour into your writing?

The best literature always challenges its readership, and kid lit should be no exception. If anything, kid lit has an added imperative to challenge and educate as well as entertain. Plus, most children's entertainment actually gets consumed by the whole family. Mom and dad deserve a little love too.

For me, the gold standard in children's entertainment has always been "Looney Tunes." Those cartoons are as hilarious to adults as they are to kids, just in an entirely different way, with "What's Opera Doc?" being the perfect example. When I was a youngun', I laughed my little head off at Bugs and Elmer Fudd running around in weird outfits and blonde wigs while singing silly songs. Then I saw it again as an adult and realized that they were parodying Wagner and it was a whole different but equally awesome brand of funny.

We're lucky to be living in a renaissance period for children's entertainment -- everything from Bruce Timm's animated superhero work to Jeff Smith's "Bone" and, of course, "Harry Potter." These are works that will stand the test of time better than most contemporary "adult" literature because they're designed to be accessible to children, but speak to everyone. I'm not operating on nearly that level, but I still try to do the same thing.

Q: One of the criticisms I read somewhere of Mail Order Ninja (and I don't know if this is a common criticism) is that the premise is ridiculous, or at least poorly explained. It struck me that there is something tragic about the modern comic reader's inability to embrace absurdity. In the silver age a story about a kid ordering a ninja out of a catalog would have been downright sensible. Do you feel that there are limits on what a comic writer can get away with these days ? Are you as sad as I am that everyone needs their comics to make sense all the time?

To puree a metaphor: People in spandex houses shouldn't throw stones. At least the premise (Boy orders ninja from catalogue, ninjinx ensue.) of "Mail Order Ninja" doesn't ask anyone to actually take it seriously. Unlike, say, the straight-faced assertion that the Hulk's many, many rampages never generated a single fatality, or that ultra-dense material from a white dwarf star can somehow be engineered into a shrinking device. These critics are encountering my out-there premise as adults rather than children and judging it accordingly while giving equally outrageous superhero conceits a pass because that's what they grew up with. I speak from experience on that one.

However I will concede that the underlying premise doesn't get as fleshed out as it could have been. Thankfully I'm writing a multi-volume series where all those questions will be answered. Other Cherry Creek kids buy their own toys of mass destruction from the JacquesCo catalogue, leading the Federal Trade Commission to order a mass recall of all JacquesCo products which naturally leads to Jiro battling clones of former Presidents Abraham Lincoln and George Washington. So be patient and all questions will be answered in future volumes "How the Ninja Stole Christmas," "All the President's Ninja" and "Mr. Yoshida Goes to Washington."

Q: Now you are writing The Batman Strikes for the Johnny DC all-ages line. Is writing Batman a dream come true for you? How does working with an established character compare to writing your own original characters?

I'm honestly more of a Superman fan -- and I have the "S" shield tattoo to prove it -- but it's still pretty darn awesome to be writing the Dark Knight. I'm contributing to something much bigger than myself and it's both exhilarating and humbling at the same time. Plus everyone knows who Batman is, which really helps in legitimizing my chosen career path to everyone who expected me to be a lawyer or doctor.

As for the differences between writing "Batman Strikes" and "Mail Order Ninja"... It's much easier to write the former than the latter. Thanks to 60+ years of stories, I know what Batman is supposed to sound like and how he would react to any given situation. Heck, I probably know Batman better than I know most of my friends. I'm still trying to figure out all that "interior existence" stuff with the cast of "Mail Order Ninja," which makes it far more difficult process, but also far more rewarding. I'm actually adding something new and ninjarific to the pop culture landscape, and that's awesome beyond words.

Q: Do you feel that writing for Johnny DC is a stepping stone into the "big leagues" or are you perfectly content to write for kids? How important do you feel the Johnny DC line is, relative to the main DC line?

"Wizard of Oz" author L. Frank Baum once said something to the effect that adult literature is very much a product of its time and place and rarely travels beyond those confines, while children's literature knows no such boundaries because children are much the same across the world and across the ages. By writing for children, I drastically increase the potential reach of my work, not to mention its importance. Kids lit matters more than adult fiction because those years matter far more in determining one's character than any other. There have been numerous works that have influenced me as an adult, but none so much as the bible stories I read in Sunday School or the Superman comics I read in kindergarten.

Of course I want to write fiction for adults, too. In fact, I have an adult romantic comedy called "Love Bytes" coming out from Platinum Studios in December. Still, I imagine that a good portion of my career will be spent writing for children and I'm more than okay with that.

As for whether I plan to use "Strikes" as a stepping stone into the mainline DCU... not really. Personally, I think the Johnny DC line should be the main DC line. Streamlined, iconic takes on characters aimed at a younger audience should be DC's principal focus. The endless soap opera that is mainstream comics really doesn't appeal to me and really doesn't appeal to any kind of mass audience either. Superheroes began as a kids lit subgenre, and its foolish beyond belief to abandon that. Not that superheroes can't be used to tell adult stories, but those are few and far between -- and are almost never found in the pages of monthly continuity titles.

To put it another way, "Watchmen" is a mature superhero work that stands next to anything on the fiction shelf at Barnes & Noble. "Identity Crisis" clumsily tries to aproximate that maturity with rapes, murder and morally conflicted protagonists but only succeeds in creating a poorly constructed, juvenile parody of an adult work. Plus "Watchmen" actually has a proper ending, something "Identity Crisis" and pretty much every other mainstream continuity title lacks by design.

Not that I would turn down an offer to write "Action Comics" or anything, I just wouldn't try to tell a story that didn't belong in that venue.

Q: Your issue of The Batman Strikes had a real emphasis on the younger characters - Robin and Batgirl. Was this done consciously, considering the target age of the readers?

Not really, I just really like the dynamic between those two characters on the show. Batgirl is the super-serious older sister while Robin is the bratty younger brother. Their relationship is made even better by their interaction with Batdad in all his stern paternal awesomeness. They're fun to write and (I hope) fun to read as well. I'm a comedy writer by inclination, so I always try to inject as much humor and fun into my stories as possible. Robin and Batgirl let me do that while still keeping Batman all grim and stoic.

Q: Getting back to Mail Order Ninja, what inspired the story? Did you have any personal experience with bullies growing up?

Did I... I had a bit of a weight problem growing up. Not to mention an acne problem and could-only-afford-to-buy-clothes-at-Wal-Mart problem. Not to mention I was on the math team. And played Dungeons & Dragons.

So yeah, I was pretty much the ultimate bully victim until I got to high school and the bullies grew out of most of their jerkitude and I went out for football and got over at least some of my dorkitude. I grew up, basically. Not that a ninja wouldn't have helped matters.

Now the actual genesis of the idea has a fun story behind it. I was a Film major at Northwestern University, and I was trying to come up with an original film short idea. I had just purchased a lot of old comics off ebay filled with mail order ads for sea monkeys, X-ray specs and Charles Atlas fitness regimens. So I thought, "What if you could order something really out there from one of these things, like, say, a ninja." My friends all thought that was the best I'd ever had, and they were right.

Sadly, we soon discovered that hiring a ninja was way beyond our student film budget, so I ended up doing "MON" as a comic. Artist Erich Owen and I entered the original 20 pg short into Tokyopop's 5th Rising Stars of Manga contest, we won the grand prize and the rest is history.

Q: Why did you choose to write Mail Order Ninja in the manga style? Do you have any thoughts about the gravitation of today's youth from traditional American-style comics to manga?

I like manga, and I read a lot of it. It's only natural that it would work its way into my work. The manga invasion has imbued our own cartooning lexicon with a wealth of new visual and storytelling idioms and I'd be foolish not to embrace them. Plus, I'm published by a company called Tokyopop. There are certain expectations of style that go with that.

As for why kids have embraced manga... why wouldn't they? Kids love comics, they really, really do. And these comics are fresh, they're dynamic and adults just don't understand them at all. It's the perfect storm of awesomeness for any kid.

Q: How important is it to make superhero comics accessible to kids again? What comics did you enjoy growing up?

It's extremely important. Kids love superheroes and they love comics. We need to be providing them with plenty of both if we want to have a comic industry 20 years from now. Teaching people how to read comics is just like teaching them how to read any other language -- it's best accomplished when the student is young.

I personally learned to read from comics, and they've been my constant literary companions ever since. Licensed stuff like "Transformers" and "G.I. Joe" plus the standard superhero titles like "Superman," "Batman" and "Amazing Spider-Man."

Q: What are you reading and loving now?

I read so much these days it's hard to narrow it down. I've switched over to trades and graphic novels only, so that helps a bit, but it's still an awful big list. I'll just list a few...

"Amelia Rules" by Jimmy Gownley, basically the second coming of "Peanuts."
"Scott Pilgrim" and I don't think I really need to explain the awesomeness of that one.
"Iron Fist" by Brubaker, Fraction and Aja, basically the best title Marvel has at the moment.
"100 Bullets," "Scalped" and "Criminal." It's a great time to be a crime fan right now.
"Naruto" which is one of the most consistently entertaining books out there. Plus, you know, ninjas!
All things Green Lantern -- Johns is giving us the best era of the character ever.
"All Star Superman" by Morrison and Quitely. Probably the greatest Superman story ever told.
Anything by Jeff Brown.
"Marvel Adventures Avengers" Jeff Parker gives me action, humor and characters I can actually like and respect.
"Fables" by Willingham. Endlessly inventive and willing to change up its status quo on a regular basis.

Q: Who would win in a fight: Yoshida or Batman?

Such a battle would never be fought. They're both smart enough to realize that they're too evenly matched for there to be a clear winner. They'd just team up to fight ninja joker or whatever and then if they really HAD to have it out, they'd settle things over a game of Go or maybe charades.

---

Now that's a game of charades I would like to see!

Thanks, Josh! And I agree...I also know Batman better than I know my friends.

If An Elongated Man Falls in the Forest...

So it's been, what, over six months since our beloved Ralph Dibny died? And has anyone mentioned him anywhere? Even in passing, like "Hey, have you seen Ralph Dibny?" "Nope."

Does anyone know that he is dead besides, like, Faust? If they do know, then where the hell is his funeral? Why is everyone all "Bart Allen...the greatest hero who ever lived. Ever." and not sending Dibny any love? Did he not die heroically? People are still talking about the tragedy that was the rape and eventual murder of Sue Dibny, but why doesn't Ralph's death matter? Elongated Man is a great character with a long proud history of solving mysteries in the grossest way possible. Didn't he have any friends? Didn't any of his fellow heroes, his Justice League teammates, respect him? Don't any of them wonder where he is? Or do they all assume that he killed himself and just don't want to talk about it. Everyone is out searching for Ray Palmer, the murderer-lover, but no one is even Google searching the whereabouts of Ralph.

So are there any plans for Ralph? Will anyone ever try to find out what happened to him? Will we see a series that has Ralph and Sue as ghosts who solve mysteries? Can Ted Kord be their sidekick? Can Ralph Dibny get a case in the Batcave?

I know that for the next long while everyone is going to be freaking out about the death (?) of Green Arrow (I hope Bart enjoyed his 15 minutes of posthumous fame because they are OVER, my friend). So I am guessing that we're not going to hear anything about Ralph for quite some time, if ever. But I have been waiting for over 6 months for word on my favourite stretchy sleuth and all I've gotten is that panel in a recent issue of Countdown that shows us his corpse, rotting where he fell dead. That's just depressing. [EDIT: Actually, it was an issue of Black Adam].

Oh, the fallen sons of DC. Is it possible for me to manipulate an image in Photoshop that is stirring enough to convey the sorrow I feel?

The answer is YES.

Perhaps some sort of rubber bracelet campaign is in order. It would certainly be fitting. Maybe purple ones that say "Whither Dibny?" on them. Or "He Died As He Lived...Stretched To Disgusting Lengths."

This Week's Haul: Blargh!

Man, there was so much throwing-up in my comics this week. Like, really. A lot. It was weird.

Also, I read a lot of stuff this week, so I'm going to run through everything pretty quickly. I'll just say that Avengers: The Initiative was really good. Sub-Mariner was good too. And Blue Beetle.

And now, the rest.

52 Aftermath: The Four Horsemen #2

Is it insane that this is kinda my favourite thing that I read this week? I really, really liked it.

As I mentioned with the first issue of this series, there is some really great Superman/Batman banter happening here. I wish the story arcs in Superman/Batman were half this good. It's just really entertaining reading.

Wonder Woman shows up to complete the trinity in this issue. And she totally holds her own in the snappy banter arena:

Speaking of 'snappy,' the guy we all love to hate, Snapper Carr, shows up at the end of this. I have no idea what's going to happen with that.

I totally thought Batman was holding a flask there in that last panel, but it's just his binoculars.

I dunno...good story, good writing, good art. That makes for a pretty solid comic. I mean, there are still four issues left in which the whole thing could go to hell, but I'm impressed so far.

There was no puking in this comic, but it kinda looked like Superman was gonna hurl. Pestilence is a bitch.

Countdown to Adventure #2

If you want to sell a lot of copies of this comic, maybe don't put Forerunner on the cover. Animal Man, Animal Man, Animal Man. Front and centre.

That's pretty much all I have to say about this. Except that the Adam Strange stuff is the best part.

Countdown Week 31

Add points to this week's Countdown because it was a McKeever issue. Subtract points due to lack of Piper and Trickster.

Also, Jason Todd almost gets wasted by Owl Man.

Would anyone have cared? Anyone?

X-Men First Class #4

How much do I love this comic? SO MUCH!

For one thing, it really fills the Spider-Man Loves Mary-Jane void. And for another, it is just such a great idea and I am really glad that Marvel has continued it into this second series. It's such a sunny comic in the middle of all the gloom. And I also really like that it's all-ages appropriate, but written for an adult readership. So it's running on the assumption that adult comic books fans want to read something cute and fun from time to time.

So in this issue, Iceman and Beast take a road trip!

And it's a totally awesome road trip. Look at the places they go!:

I love that Miami panel.

Ok, and look at how adorable this page is (the set-up: it's the end of the trip, our heroes just saved a bunch of people during a hurricane in the Florida Keys, and now they are waiting out the storm in the car under a dome of ice that Bobby made):

Awwwwwwww. Seriously! So cute!

Jeff Parker rules, and the art, by Julia Bax, was really, really fantastic. I was in love with every panel. Awesome all around.

Iron Fist #9/Iron Fist Annual #1

Double shot of Iron Fist this week!

If ever a sumo warrior traps you with his magic lightning lasso, this is what you should do:

Owned!

But you can't get cocky, cause otherwise this will happen:

Fortunately for me, I had good money riding on Fat Cobra.

Green Arrow Year One #5

*sigh* What's the point anymore? Now that I know that we all know that he's dead. I think that enough time has gone by that I can drop that week-old spoiler. Dude! Oliver totally got killed on his wedding night by one of his own arrows! Through the neck!

As a Connor Hawke fan, I'm not entirely sad about this development. But I feel bad for Hal and Roy. Those guys are gonna be miserable. And Mia. I love Mia.

But I should really talk about this comic. Because it's really good. And it totally has made me see the sex appeal of Oliver Queen, which was previously a bit of a mystery to me. I know that DC is planning more Year One series (isn't there a Huntress one or something crazy?). I hope they are all as good as this one.

Superman Confidential #6

Hey, remember how the Batman Confidential franchise was totally sucking while Superman Confidential was totally good? Well, DC is putting a fast stop to that! And I guess we have to wait to see how the Darwyn Cooke/Tim Sale storyline ends. In the meantime we get this total garbage.

Oh, please.

Now, first of all, I was excited that Palmiotti and Gray were writing the next Superman Confidential arc. And I was also excited that it would involve Lori Lemaris. But then I saw that Koi Turnbull would be doing the art, and, well...bad art can ruin a comic book.

I tried to ignore the art while reading this and focus on the story, but I just couldn't. It was so distracting.

I think with different art, this would be a completely different comic. The story has a Silver Age imaginary story charm to it. Everyone is a mermaid/man except Superman...Lois, Jimmy, Lex...and Superman is being mind controlled by Lori. Which kinda sucks, because I have a fondness for that mermaid.

Actually, the story is kinda dark and shitty. And it bothers me that Aquaman, a perfectly excellent underwater adventure comic, was just canceled and now this hits the shelves.

Anyway...Yuck:

And yuck:

Yargh. So unnecessary.

Pretty terrible. What do you think, Superman?

My thoughts exactly.

Teen Titans #51

Yep, I think this McKeever-writing-Teen Titans thing is gonna work out just fine.

It's off to a helluva start. The Teen Titans are visited by future versions of themselves, who are now a super hero team called The Titans. Tim Drake is Batman, Cassie is Wonder Woman, etc. Plus, Bart and Conner are back thanks to Tim's cloning efforts. They are all pretty evil, and the teens aren't impressed.

Future versions of super heroes are always fun because they reveal little pieces of what's to come.

Pity for Tim? But Tim is awesome! He's worth, like, ten Conners!

Also, I think this might be a Marvel dig:

I'm going to pretend it is. It's nice that Supergirl and I agree on something.

Yeah, so, excellent comic. I'm adding it to my pull list. Sean McKeever has a real gift for writing teenagers and I don't want to miss any of it. Plus I'm really liking the line-up, and it gives me some bonus Blue Beetle.

Justice League of America #13

I certainly don't need to be convinced that Dwayne McDuffie is the right man for writing JLA. Plus, the Wedding Special was awesome. So I was really excited about this issue.

Shame about the art. Damn shame.

It just looked so incredibly 90s. I dunno. Maybe that's what they're aiming for, but it's not what I'd aim for.

Behold Killer Frost:

And John Stewart:

Pages like this make me want to load Pearl Jam's Ten into my Sony Sports Walkman and set the VCR to tape Lois & Clark. Like, what the hell?

Also...I don't think the writing was that good! Like, it was all messed up and confusing and ignored chunks of continuity and stuff.

I basically liked two pages. This one:

And this one:

The second one I liked because for once it's Superman, and not Batman, who figured something out. Although, I guess it's possible that Batman told him.

Colour me disappointed.

The Spirit #10

Man I love that cover.

Ok, I lied earlier. This was actually my favourite thing that I read this week.

In this issue The Spirit is solving a murder mystery that involves the deaths of many cable TV talking heads. They are all based on actual television personalities, including Rosie O'Donnell, Rush Limbaugh, Bill O'Reilly and Stephen Colbert. It's all very clever and funny. Check out our hero as he's caught in the clutches of "Ann Coulter":

Oh, snap!

I was particularly impressed with the pages parodying the Colbert Report. Satire of a satire is a tricky thing, and it's done really well.

Also, I think it's an interesting coincidence that this issue opens with a gag that commentates on fill-in comics the same week that the final issue of Cooke's Superman Confidential run got bumped. I mean, not bumped like I think it's finished and DC just won't release it, but in the way that at least one of the creators hasn't been able to finish it yet and thus DC has chosen to start the next arc rather than wait for the end of this one. (Tim Sale, j'accuse!).

*sigh* I can't believe this run is almost over.

Batman #669

Yup, this was pretty much perfect.

I loved this page. So much:

This is gonna make an excellent-looking trade.

I don't really have anything else to say. It was awesome.

Wonder Woman Annual #1

Hey, remember this storyline? Barely? It was so long ago that I actually forgot that it never got finished. Well, here's our ending...and it's really good.

I forget most of the details of the original story on the Heinberg/Dodson run, but I do know that I liked it. And this Annual made me remember why. Heinberg just writes a really fantastic Wonder Woman. And it's a shame that this story couldn't have finished on schedule because this issue gives us a really great plot development that probably would have helped with the Picoult storyline a lot.

Basically, it ends with Circe working some magic that makes Diana a human unless she changes into Wonder Woman. So, as Diana Prince, she is vulnerable and without her powers (at least, I assume no powers...certainly she can get hurt). I think that's pretty dope.

So she does have to learn about being human now. Which was kinda what the Picoult storyline was about. Kinda.

Anyway, Gail Simone can take this development and run with it. I'm looking forward to it.

But back to this issue, there was some really fun battle banter:

There were actually pages of Wonder Woman dishing out the good banter. That's nice to see.

Also, look at this cozy Batman/Wonder Woman panel:

Man. I don't usually want those two to kiss, but I kinda wouldn't mind it. Look at how cute!

There was also a nice back-up story, also written by Heinberg, and drawn by Gary Frank. It was also really good:

Those are some really great facial expressions. I'm interested to see him upcoming run on Action Comics.

Holy smokes, am I done?! For real? Awesome, now I'm gonna work on my accounting assignment!

All-Star Batman and Robin #7: Live Running Commentary...Again!

It's that time again! This thing is coming out more or less on schedule now! It's creeping me out!

Now, once again, I will read this for the first time and post my running commentary. When you hear Batman kick you in the teeth, it's time to turn the page.

CRUNCH!

Before I get started I just want to say that as soon as I picked up this comic I launched into a giant sneezing fit. So maybe I am allergic to All-Star Batman and Robin.

Page 1 - "Striking TERROR. Best part of the job." Isn't striking terror the only part of the job?

CRUNCH!

Page 2 - "You don't know from screwed, you losers!" This gets my vote for worst Batman quote ever.

CRUNCH!

Page 3 - "Let me take you to school, suckers!" Ok, we have a new winner.
Also, Batman really gets off on people shooting each other. I guess.

CRUNCH!

Page 4-5 - "WADS"???!!!! Batman used the word 'wads'!!!!

CRUNCH!

Page 6 - Oh man. I am really glad that I didn't actually buy this. So Batman just called one guy "sweetheart," another guy "boy of mine" and all of this is making "Black Canary" (who is Irish, for whatever reason) very hot.

CRUNCH!

Page 7 - Oh, come on. Selina's not a smoker.
Yes, of all the crap on this page, that's what bothers me.

CRUNCH!

Page 8 - WHA?! NO!! YARG! I...can't believe this. At all.

CRUNCH!

Page 9 - I am so confused about what this is supposed to be. Clearly, it's a joke. I mean, it has to be, right? So my question then is, why is someone with so much obvious contempt for comic books allowed to write this comic? Let me write it! It would be so delightful!

CRUNCH!

Page 10 - So, what is Dick Grayson doing during all this? Starving in the Batcave? Sharpening his axe? Eating rats?

CRUNCH!

Page 11 - ??????!!!!!!

CRUNCH!

Page 12 - Hey, it's Robin! "I have no idea how long I've been here, in the Bat-Cave." Yeah, neither do I. I am pretty lost on the time frame of this comic. How many nights since Dick's parents were killed? Was it this same night? And didn't he leave the cave to play with that axe at one point? Or was that in the cave? Meh. Next Page.

CRUNCH!

Page 13 - 14 - Seriously, if I see one more person throw up in one of my comics this week...

CRUNCH!

Page 15-16 - Well, this is messed up.

CRUNCH!

Page 17-18 - At this point I would believe anything. It would not surprise me if I turn the page to find that Robin has chopped that guy's head off. And then the next page is a giant orgy.

CRUNCH!

Page 19 - 20 - Normally I would kind of love Batman leaning on his car like that. But this isn't any kind of Batman I want to know.

CRUNCH!

Page 21 - Oh, well, terrific. (The Joker has pierced ears?!)

Aaaand we're done. Ouch. This exceeded my expectations of shittiness. Way to go, DC.