World's Grossest Detective

I have a hard time reading Elongated Man comics because every couple of panels or so I see something that makes me want to throw up.

Also, Elongated Man, just because you can stretch, doesn't mean that's always the right solution.

Here he is hiding out underwater and spying on a nearby boat. He STRETCHES his EYES above the water and kind of INFLATES THEM and oh god I'm going to be sick...

Grossssss! The pupils protruding a little! And, seriously, that is a lot more noticeable to the dude you're spying on than just, say, sticking your head above the water. And I guess his eyes are invulnerable to salt water. Ow.

He loves this trick. Here it is again:

But how can he breathe underwater? By stretching his nose above the waves, of course. Disgusting!

Then he lends an ear:

Ok. They are TOTALLY going to see that ear. And throw up.

He's also gross on land. Check this move out:

Noose Nose! No! He just lassoed that guy with his NOSE and then reeled him in by tugging on his NOSE. Then in that last panel you can see his nose slithering limply on the ground. Oh, why did I eat turkey bacon this morning? The GLOOOP sound coming out of the crook doesn't help.

I have to wrap this up because I am positively green now, but I'll leave you with this puzzling elongated forehead move:

That guy who is crumpled on the ground behind the stretchy sleuth is an embodiment of how I feel right now. Owooo. And yeah, Elongated Man is sneezing as he does this. So I guess that guy is just lucky that he's not lassoing him with his nose. Because Elongated Man would do that. Because he is disgusting.