Showcase Presents Superman, Volume II: Hilarity

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Is anything funnier than Silver Age Superman?

Here are some panels that made me actually laugh out loud from this latest volume. I'm only about a third of the way through so far, but I had to share these:


To add to the comedy, they keep referring to that thing as a sea monster. That's a walrus. A very big walrus.

This is great. Mean Superman decides to dress Perry White in funny costumes for his own amusement. But nothing beats him turning Perry into a 'bum,' then taunting him, then taking his picture. The best part? I'll bet Superman didn't even have a dime on him.


What makes Superman mad? When ladies don't notice him...or his fake arm.

Then there was this whole other story that just needs to be told pretty much in its entirety because it's just that amazing.

It's the story of a love affair Superman has with the mysterious Mighty Maid. They meet, they both have the same powers, they fall in love in a hurry, and Superman decides to ask her to marry him. This naturally makes Lois sad. And it doesn't help that Superman is being a real ass about it.


Nice, Superman. Real nice.

Anyway, it all turns out to be an elaborate hoax. Overly elaborate if you ask me. Suspiciously elaborate, even. Because Mighty Maid turns out to be none other than Superman's teen cousin, Supergirl.

Ew?

Ok, here's the worst part: Supergirl was not even really in on the gag. She was being kept totally in the dark. So basically you have Superman telling his child cousin to make out with him in public and not ask questions.

And why was it that he insisted on this ridiculous plan? There were some aliens who wanted to wipe out every last Kryptonian, and since they believed him to be the last one, he tricked them into thinking he left Earth for another dimension, never to return again. That would force them to give up, and not blow up the Earth as planned. So it was noble. And COMPLETELY UNNECESSARY!

Superman basically had one objective: keep Earth from being blown up by angry aliens. The only plan he could come up with involved making out with his cousin for a few days. I just don't buy it. If that's the only idea you have, you have to think a little harder. Clearly Superman was just looking for an excuse. Any excuse.

Everything ends well for Lois.

I love so many things about these two panels:

a) Lois is falling off a building, and she looks almost bored. It just happens so often.

b) Lois is rescued in mid-air...actually, not even technically rescued yet...and all she's concerned about is Superman's marriage.

c) "It's true! Supergirl is 15 years old!" hahahaha...no, wait. Gross, Superman. That's not funny. That's gross.

d) Lois just heard Superman say that he almost married a 15 year old and all she can think is "Gee, still a chance for me!" Yup, Lois. He's all yours. Quite a catch. Guard your daughters.

I could practically scan this whole book. Every page is comedy gold. I don't know why they don't just market it as such.

Review of Comic Book Hilarity, by Johnathan

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click it! click it good.

Ok, so as usual I'm starting my review with an image taken from a comic book, and as usual that image has been selected because it made me giggle when I saw it for the first time. Unusually, this panel has not been spirited away from a mid-Sixties comic novel, but rather from an issue of Shade the Changing Man, c. 1993. Now, it's not that contemporary (oh shit, '93 isn't that contemporary anymore, is it? Curse you, Father Time!) comics to not bring the laffs with them when they come to visit, it's just that we've all become so much more aware of our senses of humour since der Sixties. The above panel, featuring Ernest Hemingway clobbering a mutated alien police officer while James Joyce eggs him on, could certainly have occurred in a 1965 issue of Superman, but if it had, it wouldn't have been because someone had realized ahead of time that it'd be hilarious (well, probably not, anyway). It would have just happened. Superman would be dicking around in the past - telling people about the future, getting involved in important events, daring the laws of causality to be true, the usual - and he'd run into Hemingway and Joyce, and there'd be a scrap, because there always was. And that's why it would have been funnier to have found this exact panel in that 1965 Superman: because nobody involved meant for shit like this:

so very funny. They just wanted a picture of Clark Kent wrestling some guy, 'cause it was part of the plot. The result: comic gold. Cheap comic gold. Comic fool's gold. Yeah.

JOHN APPROVED

Wait, what did I just approve of?

Shut Up, Superman (#1)

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You know what bothers me about Superman? Shit like this:

Superman, you have not see the moons of Krypton any more than I have. In fact, because you haven't read/watched roughly 71,000 versions of your origin story, I would say less.

This is just such a poser thing to say. And he says stuff like this all the time. It's like some dude who lived in Japan for 6 months and comes back and corrects sushi waitresses all over town.

If I were hanging out with Superman and he said this, I would be rolling my eyes.

Superman/Batman #27: Nevermind

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Ladies, Ladies, Ladies!

I love Mark Verheiden, and I was stoked that he was going to take on the Superman/Batman series. I was dismayed when I saw the first cover. I believe my exact words were "I can't help but notice that neither Superman nor Batman are on the cover." Little did I know...

Gender bending is a daring subject matter even for fanfic. I applaud Verheiden for taking it on in an actual comic book. And to do it to Superman and Batman! Bravo. But for all the impressiveness of what he was trying to do, it sadly didn't really work. It was a wasted opportunity.

Basically the story is that Earth 2 Superman (gray hair) and Batman (retired) have been lured into a trap at the Metropolis Zoo. The Ultra-Humanite has placed himself into the body of a gorilla there, using Brainwave, and successfully works it so Batman and Superman switch bodies with The Huntress and Power Girl, respectively. Though they still see themselves as Batman and Superman, to each other and the rest of the world they are now women.

Sounds good so far. I think it would be funner if they could also see themselves as women, but at this point I'm just glad this is happening at all.

Check out Batman (Huntress) saying something a little flirtatious to Superman (Power Girl):

"Trust me, Clark, you're her alright." And yowzaa! You're hawt! Basically that and "Except for feeling a draft, I'm doing fine," are the only funny lines of the whole book. And that's too bad.

It gets boring and confusing because it has to be over in such a hurry. In a few pages they learn what's happening (Brainwave did it), what's going to happen (Power Girl and Huntress are going to fight back to gain control of their bodies and thus destroy Superman and Batman permanently) and what they need to do to stop it (find where their own bodies are being hidden and get...back...in them...somehow).

All I'm saying is that if you're going to give us something as delicious as SUPERMAN and BATMAN getting switched into the bodies of BUSTY LADIES please let us enjoy the ride a little.

It doesn't help that the boys are so indifferent to their situation. They just keep making small talk about what they've been up to lately.

That panel is kind of cute, though, if you consider that it's actually Superman and Batman. I like the adorable way Batman is holding on.

It's a little icky that Batman is actually in the body of his daughter. And Superman, his cousin. I mean, there's nothing specifically incestuous about what's happening here, but it's still kinda...personal.

It's a stand-alone, so by the end they get back in their bodies and all is right with the alternate world. Supes and Bats don't remember what just happened, the ladies do.

I would have like a 12-issue arc. They could have, y'know, dealt with other superheroes hitting on them. They could have taken a paycut at the Justice League. Superman would have to explain the situation to Lois. Robin would be all confused...hilarious! It would have been better if it wasn't Earth 2, though. I am just not comfortable with Earth 2. I never will be. There, I said it.

Kevin Maguire's art is pretty nice, but it's kinda gross too. I mean, obviously it's boob city, but check out this nasty porn face on Powergirl (Superman). I don't even know what her mouth is doing. Is that her tongue? Lips?

As for the cover art (Ethan Van Schiver and Moose Baumann), have you ever seen Power Girl with long, golden locks? I'm not even going to comment on the boobs, because what's the point?

I want to say thumbs up to this comic so badly. It should have been the greatest comic of all time. Instead it's a wild, mind-boggling ride that's over before it starts. Booooooo.

Superman Mild Bubble Bath: Super Berry Scent

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I couldn't resist.

I normally won't buy scented bubble bath because of the raging infections it tends to cause. But it's really hard to find unscented bubble bath, and this bottle had Superman on it. Check out the awesome Jim Lee artwork!
Superman wouldn't give me an infection, would he? I can trust Superman.

Now, I know there are some artificial scents in here. I'm not an idiot. I know that for $2.76 they aren't using natural extracts from real super berries to get the super berry scent.

I know I shouldn't be using you, Superman bubble bath. I know the back of the bottle says 'Excessive use or prolonged exposure may cause irritation to skin and urinary tract," but the front of the bottle says "Superman."