Getting Back into the Game

So: I recently returned to lovely Nova Scotia after a year away, a year in which I ended up going cold turkey on buying comics. Money was tight and every item I brought into the house was another thing that would have to be moved home, so I didn't even visit a shop in that time. Meanwhile, digital comics are a bit too bountiful a garden for me to visit without an infinite line of credit. So: I have read almost nothing in the last year.

Once we returned, there was a lot to do: we had a whole house to unpack and get in order while my wife was starting a new job - it was all very grown-up. I even did yard work because I cared that my yard looked bad!

So with one thing and another I didn't start unpacking any of my comic stuff until about a week ago. And then this happened:

For reference: those stacks are waist high.

For reference: those stacks are waist high.

Pulling out all of the trades and OGNs and strip collections was basically the equivalent of the a movie character having One Last Cigarette in a moment of stress. If I had actually been trying to quit comic booking, all of my hard work would have been in the toilet. Instead, I got to feel the familiar desire to read all comics everywhere reassert itself in my heart.

Eventually things got neater and a lot of stuff got packed away again, but I was left with this:

... which represents everything in those former piles that I thought I might like to read in the near future. And that's what I'm going to do, and then I'm going to write about 'em here. Not quite sure whether there's going to be a set format or if I'm just going to tell you about my feelings, so it's a good thing that my first choice of reading material was this:

Ignore the glare. I am not a professional

Ignore the glare. I am not a professional

Hellboy is basically the prototype of the comics series that I will love. Tales of the supernatural featuring a big lug who solves most problems with punching? Deep dives into folklore? A story that evolves from fun vignettes into a cohesive and compelling tragedy over the course of years? 

And so on.

So, I'll see you later, cool kids.

Podcast - Episode 6: Crossovers!

drawn by carmine infantino and dick giordano!!!!!!!!!!!

drawn by carmine infantino and dick giordano!!!!!!!!!!!

This was a light week on all fronts. Barely any comics, barely any news, not a Winter Soldier for miles, and all quiet on the Renner front. Despite all this, we pull together a pretty entertaining hour of super hero chat. Because we're professionals.

I mention that J. Bone did some mind-shatteringly hot really great sketches of Winter Soldier this week, including a couple of my favourite bionic commando as a sexy auto mechanic. Yeah, that's what I said. Feast your eyes on these!

Good lord. How am I supposed to get anything done?

Meanwhile, my 5-year-old son, Mitchell, was doing a Winter Solider drawing of his own:

He did a whole bunch of drawings of super heroes, and they are all hilarious. Behold: Ant-Man, Iron Fist, Nick Fury, Storm, Hawkeye, Thor, and Falcon as Captain America.

The best, right? I drew a couple of my own for him, at his request. I worked way too hard one these, considering they look like they were drawn by an 11-year-old at best. I am especially proud of my Silver Surfer. Look out, Mike Allred! I'm coming for your job!

Clearly Dave is the artistic talent half of this podcast team.

We talk about crossovers this week, and speaking of crossovers, I crossed over to another Canadian comic book podcast! This week I am a guest host on Panel Culture. You can check out the episode here. It's also available on iTunes here (episode 219). It was very nice to finally talk to Owen Craig after corresponding online for years! Go Canadian comic book podcasts!

Hey, that reminds me! We are also on iTunes here and we would love it if you would subscribe or rate us!

I am away this upcoming week so there will be no new episode next week, but we'll be back with a vengeance after that!

Podcast - Episode 5: Ant-Man!!!

Dave and I saw Ant-Man this week and we spoil the hell out of it in this Giant-Size Ant-Man episode (actually a normal length episode). And can I just say, it was nice to have a recorded conversation with Dave about a Marvel movie after writing out all those dialogues for our Countdown to Age of Ultron recaps on this blog.

First we discuss the Batman vs Superman trailer, which you can watch here:

And I really go off on "Renner of the Week" Jesse Eisenberg's dumb 'genocide' comments about Comic Con. You can read about what he actually said here.

jesse-eisenberg-comic-con-genocide.jpg

We talk about the X-Men: Apocalypse images, which you can see here.

And I try to talk coherently about Hayley Atwell's DubSmash videos. I can't. Just watch these and try not to die (like you haven't watched them a million times already). You can see the whole epic battle here.

Just follow Hayley Atwell on Twitter and Instagram. She's the best. You can check out the full Pajiba 10 2015 list, which is a great list of sexy people that I fully endorse. It's also full of hot pics and gifs like this one:

I keep talking about how awesome Planet Hulk is on the podcast and I keep not mentioning either the writer or the artist's names. which is very dumb and horrible. So here they are:

Planet Hulk is written by SAM HUMPHRIES!

Planet Hulk is drawn by MARC LAMING!

As I mention, the Ant-Man end of credits scene makes me lose my damn mind. There is a good in-depth look at both end credits scenes here. This line made me very sad:

Add in Sebastian Stan’s intense acting and it doesn’t take much to believe that this Bucky is also one who has pretty much decided to give up.
— Andrea Towers, Entertainment Weekly

Bucky!!! Noooo!!! I love youuuuuu!!!

Dave had another idea about the end credits scene, which he has drawn here and it is the best:

On the episode I refer to the writer of the Paul Rudd article as a man. It was a woman! Ugh! I am part of the problem!!! You can read that great New York Times article on Paul Rudd here, and you can join me in trying to solve the Mystery of the Obnoxious Avenger that the author clearly hates (I still think it's Downey, though my heart wants it to be Renner). Here's the quote, for quick reference:

Twenty feet away, a different Avenger hammily belted show tunes into a personal fan while some crew members pretended to laugh. Noninclusive.
— Molly Young, The New York Times Magazine

Big thanks to Dave for letting me go on about Magic Mike XXL for awhile. It's basically all I can think about.

I am not kidding about adding Sebastian Stan to Magic Mike 3. I mean, I know these movies don't need more white dudes, but please. I went home after recording and Google image searched things like 'Sebastian Stan dancing' 'Sebastian Stan shirtless' and 'Sebastian Stan lips' for quite awhile. More than usual, even.

Next week we are totally going to talk about comic books on this podcast.

Podcast - Episode 4: The Wrath of Cons

Recoded in the middle of San Diego Comic Con (but nowhere near San Diego Comic Con), Dave and I discuss some of the announcements made over the past few days, including...

  • Star Wars Star Wars Star Wars
  • The terrible idea to make a Killing Joke animated movie
  • A DEVIL DINOSAUR COMIC!!!
  • Max Landis's stupid thing!
  • Poor Ben Affleck 

We also talk about Arthur Suydam's appalling/amazing behaviour at Montreal Fan Expo. You can see the story here. And you can read his absolutely astonishing bio on his website here

And here is that Photoshopped image from his site that shows a "giant line-up" at his table.

You can see the very funny gif campaign that Chris Haley started on Twitter in response to Max Landis stating that he "sort of wanted to do the opposite of All Star Superman" here.

You can watch the awesome Avengers: Earth's Mightiest Heroes episodes with Winter Soldier here and here.

You can see all of the Archie #1 variant covers here.

We talk about our own personal con experiences in the second part of the episode. I had already documented my times at HeroesCon in 2008 and 2009 in a few blog posts with lots of pictures, so if you want to check those out here they are:

Report with images of sketches from HeroesCon (2008)

Photos from HeroesCon (2008)

Report and images from HeroesCon (2009)

I mention that the reason I went to HeroesCon is because I was invited by the nice guys at The Dollar Bin podcast, so please check their site/podcast out!

And here is the awesome Rorschach sketch that Dave Gibbons did for Dave!

Important Information I Have Gathered From Reading Avengers Fan Fiction

I have been reading a lot of Avengers (movieverse) fan fiction lately (shut up, I don't care).

Here is what is important to the Avengers, according to the thousands of fan fiction stories out there:

  • Coffee;
  • Movie night;
  • Disney movies;
  • Take out food in general, Thai food specifically;
  • Pranks;
  • Pancakes;
  • Having sex with each other.

Here is what is important to Tony Stark specifically:

  • Everybody else's love lives;
  • Pepper Potts;
  • Bruce Banner;
  • Spicy food;
  • Classic rock;
  • Making and consuming green smoothies;
  • Gifting team members with Avengers merchandise to annoy them;
  • Bothering Steve Rogers;
  • Helping Steve Rogers;
  • Sometimes having sex with Steve Rogers;
  • Improving Bucky's bionic arm;
  • Friends.

Here is what is important to Bruce Banner specifically:

  • Yoga;
  • Meditation;
  • Tea;
  • Healthy eating (usually vegetarian);
  • Tony Stark;
  • Listening to people talk in a therapist kind of way;
  • Protecting everyone from himself;
  • Not pranking people.

Here is what is important to Natasha Romanoff specifically:

  • Clint Barton;
  • Nothing;
  • Guns;
  • The Little Mermaid;
  • Vodka;
  • Steve's love life;
  • Trying different hair styles.

Here is what is important to Clint Barton specifically:

  • Being annoying;
  • Hiding in high places;
  • Sleeping in high places;
  • Natasha Romanoff;
  • Sometimes having sex with Agent Coulson;
  • Video games;
  • Obnoxious movies.

Here is what is important to Thor specifically:

  • Jane Foster;
  • Having a great time;
  • Not really being around all that often;
  • Loki;
  • Sometimes having sex with Loki;
  • Being generally agreeable about everything;
  • Introducing everyone to Asgardian things like hardcore alcohol and hardcore aphrodisiacs.

Here is what is important to Steve Rogers specifically:

  • Bucky Barnes;
  • Pretty much just Bucky Barnes;
  • Sometimes Tony Stark;
  • Sometimes Natasha Romanoff;
  • Brooklyn;
  • Losing his virginity;
  • Drawing;
  • Jazz;
  • Hot dogs;
  • Jogging.

Also note that:

  • Sam Wilson is everyone's free therapist, and is generally the nicest guy;
  • Darcy is a Mary-Sue for authors and sleeps with everyone;
  • Everyone lives together in Avengers Tower and it is like a college dorm;
  • Pepper Potts takes care of all problems;
  • Bucky is sarcastic and sexy, or he is broken and sad;
  • Bucky likes orange juice;
  • The Avengers and/or S.H.I.E.L.D. have a lot of missions that require agents to pose as a couple;
  • All of the Avengers listen to more Fall-Out Boy and One Direction than I would have guessed.

This is the important information I have gathered so far. I love fan fiction guys. Hit me up with/for recs! I'll see you on the beach with my iPad out!