Important Information I Have Gathered From Reading Avengers Fan Fiction

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I have been reading a lot of Avengers (movieverse) fan fiction lately (shut up, I don't care).

Here is what is important to the Avengers, according to the thousands of fan fiction stories out there:

  • Coffee;
  • Movie night;
  • Disney movies;
  • Take out food in general, Thai food specifically;
  • Pranks;
  • Pancakes;
  • Having sex with each other.

Here is what is important to Tony Stark specifically:

  • Everybody else's love lives;
  • Pepper Potts;
  • Bruce Banner;
  • Spicy food;
  • Classic rock;
  • Making and consuming green smoothies;
  • Gifting team members with Avengers merchandise to annoy them;
  • Bothering Steve Rogers;
  • Helping Steve Rogers;
  • Sometimes having sex with Steve Rogers;
  • Improving Bucky's bionic arm;
  • Friends.

Here is what is important to Bruce Banner specifically:

  • Yoga;
  • Meditation;
  • Tea;
  • Healthy eating (usually vegetarian);
  • Tony Stark;
  • Listening to people talk in a therapist kind of way;
  • Protecting everyone from himself;
  • Not pranking people.

Here is what is important to Natasha Romanoff specifically:

  • Clint Barton;
  • Nothing;
  • Guns;
  • The Little Mermaid;
  • Vodka;
  • Steve's love life;
  • Trying different hair styles.

Here is what is important to Clint Barton specifically:

  • Being annoying;
  • Hiding in high places;
  • Sleeping in high places;
  • Natasha Romanoff;
  • Sometimes having sex with Agent Coulson;
  • Video games;
  • Obnoxious movies.

Here is what is important to Thor specifically:

  • Jane Foster;
  • Having a great time;
  • Not really being around all that often;
  • Loki;
  • Sometimes having sex with Loki;
  • Being generally agreeable about everything;
  • Introducing everyone to Asgardian things like hardcore alcohol and hardcore aphrodisiacs.

Here is what is important to Steve Rogers specifically:

  • Bucky Barnes;
  • Pretty much just Bucky Barnes;
  • Sometimes Tony Stark;
  • Sometimes Natasha Romanoff;
  • Brooklyn;
  • Losing his virginity;
  • Drawing;
  • Jazz;
  • Hot dogs;
  • Jogging.

Also note that:

  • Sam Wilson is everyone's free therapist, and is generally the nicest guy;
  • Darcy is a Mary-Sue for authors and sleeps with everyone;
  • Everyone lives together in Avengers Tower and it is like a college dorm;
  • Pepper Potts takes care of all problems;
  • Bucky is sarcastic and sexy, or he is broken and sad;
  • Bucky likes orange juice;
  • The Avengers and/or S.H.I.E.L.D. have a lot of missions that require agents to pose as a couple;
  • All of the Avengers listen to more Fall-Out Boy and One Direction than I would have guessed.

This is the important information I have gathered so far. I love fan fiction guys. Hit me up with/for recs! I'll see you on the beach with my iPad out!