This week's Archie Sunday comic starts with a little post-modern breaking of the fourth wall:

Alright, Archie. I'll bite. Why are you in the fountain?

Like all good things, this series of events was set in motion by Riverdale's most eligable bachelor, Dilton Doiley.

As an aside, I can't decide if I like Archie's short-sleeve turtleneck and flat-front khakis, or Dilton's urban trench and pinstripes better. Anyway, here's your plot set-up:

I like that Dilton uses the term 'bob.' I do not like that Archie is being a douche. Dilton gives him the tickets, but not without laying some voodoo on Archie:

The Infamous Dilton Curse!!! Man I love that little guy.

Archie rushes to Veronica's place with his fancy tickets. He shows her his most impressive sexual predator face:

Unfortunately for Archie, this romantic evening is about to get crowded:

Archie and Veronica arrive at the concert (which is also a wacky costume party, apparently) and Archie gets the bad news that tonight is the night when two become six:

It seems that Veronica is friends with members of the rock group Chicago.

Just as I always suspected, the members of Chicago are disgusting pervs.

Archie is not having any of this, but Veronica seems to be into the idea of the evening leading to a sexy situation involving herself, Archie, and Chicago. And what Veronica wants, Veronica gets. Minus Archie.