In honour of Valentine's Day, I thought we'd get a little sexy with Archie Sunday.

When I worked at Strange Adventures, sometimes I would get a parent in the store who would express concern that their child enjoyed Archie comics. They would ask if I could suggest something less adult. It really confused me, but now I think I see what they are talking about.

So our story starts off innocently enough. Archie is suffering from insomnia, so Veronica buys him a tape that is supposed to help him sleep.

Archie appreciates the gesture, and oddly refers to his dream girl as a "good kid." Now let's hear that tape!

This tape is a first class ticket to Bonertown!

Archie is pretty excited about his sex dreams.

Eager to escape the harsh, unsexy reality of Riverdale, Archie falls asleep at Pop's.

Veronica is having none of this. Archie signed a contract assuring that all erotic dreams would feature only Veronica. This is a clear infringement.

So Veronica returns to the store, tape in hand, and demands that the salesman play it for her. It happens to start at a particularly alarming, and non sleep related, passage.

So after standing there for awhile while the salesman gets hot and bothered, Veronica purchases a different sleep tape and slips it into Archie's tape player. This reveals Archie's fear of sheep and sheep wranglers.