In Times of Economic Uncertainty, We Turn to the Sears Wish Book for Comfort
/I've been busy lately...but not too busy to check out this year's Sears Wish Book! Because it's that time of year again! Last year I shared some of the most alarming and lame offerings of the toy section of the beloved catalog. Here's round two of this feature, soon to become an annual holiday favourite:
Batman The Dark Knight Mega Cape Accessory Set
I look at this and all I can see are lamps and vases being knocked over.
Oh, and I see a pretty crappy Batman costume.
Wowwee Remote-Controlled 'Bladestar' Animal Robot
As far as I can tell, this is a flying, rotating, double-blade. It also has a "fighting feature" and "autopilot mode." This toy is not a good idea.
I think if you were to pan back on this photo, you would see tears streaming down this kid's face.
Vtech V.Smile Motion Wireless Controller
Maybe I'm getting old, but I have no idea what the hell this is. And the description does not help:
- NEW!
- left or right-hand use
- bilingual
- ages 3-7 years
Bilingual?
I was looking at this trying to figure out what I love about so much. I think it's this: the kid and the triceratops have the same facial expression.
'Wipe Out' Combat Simulation Double Game Set
We need more toys that allow kids to just shoot the shit out of each other.
Fisher-price Ultimate Dino
Ultimate is right! Look at this thing! It's awesome! And that kid knows it!
Uncle Milton Rainbow in my Room
Kid, I can sell you something that will replicate this very product for three bucks a hit.
Times are tight, and Play-Doh is a cheap substitute for food. You may as well get them started on it early. It's the only way they will acquire a taste for it.
MSX Pro Stunt T-Rex Terror Ripper Set
This toy is proof that, even if it seems silly on paper, adding one awesome thing to any other awesome thing is VERY AWESOME.
"Yeah, bitch. Jealous?"
Boys 3-Piece Superhero Costume
It took me a really long time to identify the costume on the right as Batman. I was like "Hulk, Superman, Spider-Man and...Tron? Some sort of robot? A manhole cover?"
'Don't Forget the Lyrics' Game
Really?
To me, this is just adding annoying steps to the process of obtaining chocolate and putting it in my mouth. That kid knows what I'm saying.
Step-2 Fifties-style Diner Playset
Y'know what kids love?
Retro kitsch!
This is an unfortunately-named toy.
Batman The Dark Knight Wayne Tech Tri-Fire Blaster
No.
Batman does not use this. Not ever.
No.
Iron Man does not do this. Not ever.
Bella Beau Pet City Stroller Set
Is this really what you want your daughter to be?
Baby Born 'Mommy Look I Can Swim!'
Aaaaaaaaaahhhh!!!!!
"Mommy Look I Can Devour Your Soul!"
Shudder.
Little Tikes Deluxe Wood Kitchen and Laundry Center
Siiiiiiiiigh.
It even is described as having "granite-look countertops." Because kids won't stand for anything less in their fake kitchen/laundry facilities.
I love that the boy in the picture is just leaning on the counter, watching the girl load the dryer. Wondering when dinner is going to be ready.
