The issue: Archie No. 109. The set-up: Archie has a gig as a DJ in daily school assemblies, but power has gone to his head and he's started accepting bribes from students to play their original compositions and thus catapult them to, uh, regional fame.

The payoff: Mr Weatherbee brings in Mr Andrews to settle things once and for all.

The story could have ended there, of course, but fortunately for you and me it didn't. See, the recording equipment was on during that little bit of negative reenforcement, and...

Phil the off-brand Archie Andrews and his red-shirted pal get in on the action. (A side note: looking at Phil and his pal, I can't help but picture them as the Rosenberg and Goldstein to Archie and Jughead's Harold and Kumar. For every wacky scheme that Arch and Jugs get up to, Phil and Red are just off-panel making a flying machine out of seagulls. Every time Archie has to dash frantically between simultaneous dates with Betty and Veronica at two different restaurants, he high-fives Phil as he passes him running in the opposite direction, having told Shannon that he had to go to the washroom so that he could go assuage Michelle's suspicions. Delightful!)

And so, at the All-New, Corruption-Free Archie Andrews Lunchtime Music Spectacular the next day: