The Unfunnies: Cap's Hobby Center

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Cap's Hobby Center/Cap's Hobby Hints was a strip that appeared in 60s DC books at least as often as, say, Chief Hot Foot or Peg. You're unlikely to see it show up here very often, though, as most instalments were more concerned with passing on tips about how to paint model airplane wings than telling terrible jokes. Every once in a while, however, whoever was writing Cap took a shot at being funny. They did not succeed.

I looked really hard for a punchline here, you guys. I checked subsequent pages just in case it was a two-parter; I reread it two or three times; I showed it to my own dog. Nothing. I am forced to conclude that this is the most terrible attempt at humour that I have ever encountered.

- from Lois Lane No. 62

BONUS LIST OF POSSIBLE MORALS TO THIS STORY

Dogs Are Wusses

The Children of Today Are Negligent Model-maniacs

Kids: If Anyone You Love Expresses Interest in Something Other Than You, Leave Immediately

The Time is Ripe to Start Marketing Models for Dogs

Engaging in Frivolous Activity Will Cost You Everything You Hold Dear

Discard Inefficient Biological Sources of Joy: THE AGE OF PLASTICS IS AT HAND

A Dog Holding a Bindle is Not as Funny as You Might Think it is.

The Unfunnies: Tiny

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So I still have a puppy, as per the last installment of the Unfunnies, and I must say that they are a lot more work than I remember from my youth. It's almost like I had some sort of help, someone to clean up the poops and endure the early-morning urination excursions.

In honour of young Branston Pickle, who is a delightful dog despite the amount of matter he ejects over the course of each day, here is another dog comic:

Not shown: Tiny dodging an enormous cleaver.

- From Action Comics No. 27

The Unfunnies: This Doggone Life

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 In honour of the fact that I got a new dog yesterday, I give you this here strip from Adventure Comics No. 42:

 

Don't be fooled, though: I might have posted a comic about a dog so ugly that he can't win a contest that he is the only entrant in, but that implies nothing about my dog. My dog, in fact,

My dog will win all of the prizes.

The Unfunnies: The Other Shorty

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Somehow, my four-day weekend has turned into the sort of social whirlwind that precludes actual comic-reading, so while I have purchased such highly-anticipated books as the Superman vs Muhammad Ali reissue and the Kill Shakespeare trade I as yet have no opinions to share on 'em.

But since part of the social insanity has been a houseguest and that houseguest is a dog and that dog is a Welsh Corgi, I think that it is time to introduce DC Comics' other character named Shorty:

 

This particular Shorty is part of a loose society of cartoon dogs from the early days of DC. Pretty standard stuff (the wiener dog doesn't realize how long he is! LOL!) but interesting in that the dogs that they feature are basically all criminals, concerned only with fighting and stealing. Kind of like real dogs, actually - thankfully, our dog-guest is too short to steal and too prudent to fight, so things are going smoothly.

- From Superman No. 3